Clare's YuGiOh Q&A
by Kumiko Seph
Summary: I'M BAAACK! Okay everyone, in this fic you get to ask the characters ANYTHING you want, and make funny stuff happen to them... or torture them in any way you want. This is not in script form Rating may go up if the reviewers get too evil XD Winks
1. Confused Bishies

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters, I only own the idea of this ficlet and myself, Clare. XD

A/N: Okay, so... I just had a sudden Idea after watching a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh humor fanfictions... yes, oh yes. Now, for those of you who know about me and my DragonBall Z Q&A, this is pretty much the same kind of insane-ness, I kidnapped them all, kay? Yep. Anyway, on with the show! And plus, I'm doing this in non-script format because I don't want to risk it getting deleted... like my first one (Frowns)

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

The authoress, Clare-Stovold, walked into a large, blank room. Anyone would think she was just having a curious look around, but really she was plotting one most evil scheme yet.

"Yes, this place is perfect!" she gave a squeal of delight, "Now to furnish this place to _their_ liking."

She clicked her fingers, and with her unusual powers, the room was decorated. The walls and flooring were now a soft, calm blue and there was everything an anime character needed, including entertainment such as a plasma screen TV, a PS3, a stereo system, and everything else you could imagine they liked. Clare grinned cheekily, "Now all I have to do is persuade the guests to come in."

She turned towards the door so that she was out of the way of the middle of the room before she paused for a moment. "And by persuade, I mean force them here against their will."

Again, she clicked her fingers and all was quiet for a moment, until...

A giant portal-like-vortex-thing opened up above the ceiling, greatly followed by several different pitched screams, followed by a loud 'thunk'... followed by a bunch of groans. The portal closed up and Clare rubbed her hands in a 'evil plotting' way. "Excellent", she muttered, looking over the fictional characters that were beginning to get to their feet.

"Whu? What happened?" Yugi asked, pushing himself onto his knees and rubbing his sore head.

"I don't know, this place is unfamiliar to me." Yami spoke, who was standing on his feet already.

"Huh? Yami!? You have your own body?" Yugi asked pointedly and confusedly. Yami shrugged, unable to explain this strange phenomenon.

"Who cares!? There's a mini fridge over there!" Joey yelled, before running over to the said appliance.

"Joey, don't touch that! It doesn't belong to us", Yugi said, but was interrupted by another.

"Oh, by all means, take what you want. This room is designed specifically to your liking", Clare spoke up, making herself known as everyone jumped up, startled.

"Who are you? And what do you mean 'to our liking'?" Yami Bakura asked, standing up with an annoyed expression whilst Ryou Bakura backed away from his dark-half.

"Great, he has his own body now...", Ryou muttered with a pout, but then his face brightened a bit, "...meaning he can't torment me!"

"You may call me Clare, because..... because that's my name. And what I mean is I have everything here that you may need, especially since you're going to be staying awhile", Clare grinned sheepishly.

Everyone stared blankly at her, before...

"_What _did you just say?"

Everyone turned to the person who had spoken with obvious annoyance in his voice.

"Ah, nice to see you, Seto Kaiba", Clare waved with a grin.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I am NOT, I repeat, NOT staying here."

"Well, uhhh... I have a 24-inch MAC with Internet access over there", Clare said, pointing to the corner with the desk and the said item.

Kaiba's eye twitched.

"Why the hell are we here anyway?" Yami Marik asked, his hair flaring and his eyes transfixed with a glare on the authoress.

"To answer the reviewers questions', silly!" Clare replied as if he had asked the stupidest question ever. Yami Marik blinked in confusion.

"What kind of questions?" Malik asked.

Clare grinned, "I'm glad you asked! Well, they might want to ask you funny questions, personal questions, or maybe they just have the evil-ness in their hearts to torture you! Yay!" she exclaimed happily. Everyone paled, including Tristan and Tea who had been sitting in the corner, trying to hide from Clare.

Joey took a gulp of his soda that he was swiped from the cupboard, before he spoke up. "I say we do it, I mean, if we refuse then she'll probably keep us locked in here forever", he took another sip of his drink and grabbed a chocolate bar from the fridge, "not that I'd mind."

Yami glanced around with a glare on his face, trying to determine what to do, before he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, the quicker we do this, the quicker we're out of here."

"Awe, c'mon Pharaoh, it might be fun", Yugi said with a smile.

"I'm glad _someone _isn't feeling so pessimistic", Clare said with a grin and hugged Yugi.

Yugi blinked and blushed, "Oh... uh, no problem."

"Anyways! Everyone please review with their questions or tortures for these characters!" Clare yelled to the ceiling randomly, leaving the fictional characters wondering whether they should question her sanity; little did they know that she had lost it a long time ago.

"Excuse me", someone piped up from the back and Clare glanced over and grinned.

"Yes, Mokuba?"

"Is there a restriction to how far the torture can go? I mean, I'm only thirteen...", he muttered nervously.

"Nope! No restrictions, no rules, no questioning the reviewers decisions'!"

Pegasus gulped from the back of the room, "They better not do anything to mess up my perfectly straight, silver hair of my adoring red suit."

* * *

A/N: (Starts laughing) Man, I've missed this kind of thing... PLEASE REVIEW WITH YOUR QUESTIONS OR TORTURES! Here's a list of the characters to ask:

**Yami  
Yugi  
Joey  
Yami Bakura  
Ryou Bakura  
Malik Ishtar  
Yami Marik  
Tristan  
Tea  
Seto Kaiba  
Mokuba  
Pegasus**

Have fun everyone!


	2. Naked Hikari's

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh in any way, shape or form. Though it would be Super-Special-Awesome to own it! ....OH CRUD! (Get's chased by angry Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged supporters saying I am going to get sued by LittleKuriboh)

A/N: YEY! I gots my first three reviews so I'm gonna update now! (Does happy dance) Niiice!

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare, the author ran into the building, the door smashed against the wall causing a few bricks to fall; they were kindly ignored though.

"Oh great", Kaiba muttered sarcastically from where he sat at the MAC, his brother Mokuba reading his emails over his shoulder.

"I do NOT want to succumb to this!" Yami Marik yelled in annoyance, before grabbing a soda out of the fridge and downing it. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to drink."

"Well to bad anyway, you already agreed!" Clare yelled with a smug look, standing at the podium that had strangely appeared out of nowhere.

"Yeah, against our will!" Tea muttered, crossing her arms and looking at Clare pointedly.

" Yeah? Well, nobody cares about you!" Clare yelled, sticking her tongue out at the girl with lop-sided hair that looked as if it could fall off at any moment. Tea sniffed and pouted, her gaze dropping to the floor.

Clare felt a pang of guilt and sighed, rolling her eyes, "Okay, okay, SOME people care about you... I mean, they must... to pair you up with Yami in fanfictions..."

Yami blinked, realising what Clare had just said, "What!?"

Clare grinned evilly at him and cleared her throat, "Moving onto the reviews!"

**Golden Lockhart**

**Ah. I'm glad you're back with another one of your Q&A Fic. Here are some  
questions:**

**Pegasus: Ok. Fine. We won't mess up your adoring red suit. (Changes it to hot  
pink suit) There. Now we can mess it up. Whoops! ("Accidently" spills nacho  
cheese onto it)**

**Tea: Your name is now Lipton. If anyone gets the joke, I love you.**

**Clare-Sama: I'm glad you're back. I hope you keep up the good work!**

**Yugi and Yami: Let's hear you sing a dueted praise to Clare-Sama!**

**Joey and Tristan: You guys are cool! So, I'll give you a...(Lockhart's  
Feelin' generous so choose what you two would like!)**

**Well, Those are my questions. (Starts to leave the room then quickly turns  
around, fingers pointed out towards them) 'Till the next!!**

Clare waved toward the reviewer, "Hi!" she said giddily.

Pegasus sighed, shielding his suit with his arms, "Well that's a relief...", he looked down at his suit which turned to a very shiny 'hot pink' colour, "WHAT ON EARTH!?!?!?!??!?! NO!" before, quite suddenly, a splash of yellow, sticky stuff was stuck on it, more commonly known as Nacho Cheese. "My beautiful suit! IT'S RUINED!"

Everyone else in the room started laughing so hard, pointing. Until Tea heard her question, she looked up confusedly.

"Lipton? Eh? What kind of a weird name is that?" Tea asked, looking around at everyone to see if they understood.

Clare started laughing like hell, "Lipton tea.... good one, mate!"

Tea growled and stood up stubbornly, "I demand you tell me what it is!" to which Clare paid no attention to.

Clare cleared her throat, still ignoring Tea and answered to her reviewer, "Why thank you", she said with a grin, "I hope this one gets twice as many reviews as my last!" Clare giggled excitedly, whilst everyone else stared at her with wide eyes.

Yami and Yugi stared at the reviewer as if they were absolutely insane. "What?" Yami asked bluntly, scowling.

"You heard 'em! Praise me with a song!" Clare said with a smirk. Yugi frowned, "I... uhh... can't sing", Yugi muttered.

"Oh, don't give me that, Yugi. You sing in the shower, everyone here knows that", Clare shot back, smirking. Everyone glanced around before looking at Yugi and nodding.

"Oh man! How embarrassing!" Yugi pouted, covering his face.

"Fine, we'll sing!" Yami yelled and nudged Yugi as if asking what song to sing.

A few minutes later and they were both chorusing about how awesome Clare is, while the authoress was sitting back happily listening to the melody.

Everyone else, however was trying to get them to stop singing, not because they weren't bad at singing, but because they were saying good things about Clare. After they finished singing, however, they got evil looks from everyone else in the room and backed away slowly.

Tristan and Joey jumped for joy at their review. "Sweet! We're loved! We have fans!" Joey yelled. "I'll have three super-double-cappuccino-chocolate-fudges with half a pint of chocolate sauce on them all!" Joey yelled, and the said items appeared before him and he ate them all within one minute. Tristan thought about it, "Can I have the same as Joey only bigger!?"

"Oi, copy cat!" Joey muttered annoyed.

Tristan smirked, "Nope, mine are bigger!"

Clare raised an eyebrow, "If someone started reading the story from that point, they'd think this were 'wrong', if you know what I mean..."

"What are you talking about?" Mokuba asked innocently.

"Not for your ears, kid", Clare smiled sweetly and grinned.

Everyone gulped as the reviewer left and said they'd be back next chapter.

"Well, that went well, don't you think?" Clare asked, and the characters pouted.

**Oceaus Phoenix **

**ok, you all have to sit through the torture of...**

**YUGIOH GX SEASONS 1-3 MUHAHAHAHA. And also, put several thousands kilos of  
chocolate sauce, whipped cream, strawberries and treacle behind a bulletproof  
glass wall with only a hole the size of a keyhole to access them, and remove  
the hikari's and joey of a large ammout of clothing. I IS EVIL! also, i humbly  
request that oceaus phoenix can appear sometime. he is in the calling  
chronicles. thank you very much. this should be FUN!**

Everyone screamed in horror as they were forced to watch the evil-ness and spin-off-ness of Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

"Make it stop! They made me look and sound identical to Yami!" Yugi cried, trying to hide his eyes from the TV, though he was unable to.

"Wait, that's a bad thing?" Yami asked with a frown.

"N-no... it's just everyone got confused and thought you'd come back to life", Yugi explained and the Pharaoh blinked.

"Where are we all through this crud!" Joey asked, pointing at the screen in horror as Jaden Yuki yelled 'Get your game on!'

"That's all wrong! It's not 'Get your game on'! It's supposed to be 'It's time to duel!' Those cheap, low-life..." Yami went on about how pathetically annoying GX is.

"Where the hell am I in this?" Kaiba asked, crossing his arms, eye twitching.

"You turn up later... and duel Jaden... with your own card called 'Kaibaman'", Clare explained, then realised what she just said, "Oh crud, spoilers peoples!"

About three-hundred episodes of crap later, everyone calmed down when it finished, though it still left some people traumatized, such as Yami who had had a fit when they had shown Syrus and Jaden dressed in a Pharaoh and High Priest's clothing in front of an Egypt back-drop, talking about whether the plot was about them being reincarnations of them and that they had to save the world from evil. ((A/N: No, seriously, that actually happens...))

Quite abruptly, a bunch of scrummy looking foods appeared on the other side of a glass wall, out of reach from anyone and Joey and Tristan tried to pry their way through the small keyhole.

"Does anyone have a key?" Joey asked, clawing at the keyhole.

"Nope!" Clare said giddily and her eyes widened at the next part of the review.

"I thought I was evil..." she muttered and looked up.

"What is it?" Ryou Bakura asked innocently before feeling a draft, he looked down and screamed. Malik, Yugi, Joey and Ryou Bakura were now completely naked.

"ARGH! SOMEONE HIDE ME!" Yugi screamed, before hiding behind the Pharaoh, blushing considerably. Joey was too busy clawing at the door to notice he was no longer clothed and Malik didn't seem to care.

"Yeah, don't I just look hot?" Malik asked, sitting down in an armchair, still butt-naked.

Que screaming Malik-fan-girls.

"Ahem", Clare muttered, covering her eyes, "I think I'm going to be nice and give you back your clothing before you all get glomped to death by fan-girls." And with a click of her fingers, the Hikari's were all clothed again.

**Android 24**

**(Walks in With an evil grin and Trunks holding her by her waist)**

**Why hello there everyone! My name is Android 24, and this is my husband  
Trunks Briefs! We are here to torture...i mean ask you questions and you are  
going to enjoy them, follow that law and I may spare you from horrible kinds  
of torture and in Kaiba's case, humiliation. hehehe**

**Yugi: Have you ever really thought that it would be nice to NOT have Yami in  
your head...taking over your body at certain times, I mean sure it's  
voluntary...but it must get tiring SOMETIME right?**

**Yami: Have you ever wished you weren't stuck in a prepubesant kids body and  
that you were in your own again, not just in this place but outside of here?**

**Joey: You're cute so have a turkey! (Gives)**

**Kaiba: Hehehe, hello my "friend" I am hereby contemplating what to do with  
you so look forward to it in my next review (snickers)**

**Clare: Although I'm not big fan of Yu-Gi-Oh I think this could get  
interesting, and you did so well in your DBZ one so I can't wait for this to  
get underway! (Highfives)**

**Trunks: So 24, is that everything?**

**24: You bet! Let's go have some "fun" (smirks)**

**Trunks: (smirks his father's smirk) I'm up for some of that!**

**Trunks and 24: (Leaves)**

Everyone in the room, except Kaiba, gulps nervously. Kaiba growls and stands up, "Why does everyone want to humiliate me!?"

"Well it makes up for all the times you humiliated JOEY in the show", Clare pointed out and Joey smirked and nodded.

Yugi looked up at Android 24 and Trunks Briefs ((A/N I do not own DragonBall Z, or Mirai Trunks)) and gulped, he answered his question. "Well, uh...", Yugi started, "I never really thought about it, I mean, Yami protects me... so I certainly would miss him if he left... why wouldn't I? He's one of my best friends", Yugi said lightly and Yami smiled.

"Cough-suckup-Cough", Clare muttered with a grin.

Yami scratched his head, "Okay, well as Yugi aforementioned, I am his protector. Sure, he's sixteen years old and has not yet gone through puberty-"

"Thanks a lot, Pharaoh", Yugi muttered, sweat-dropping.

"-and it may make me look a little ... well... let's just say I have been called a child-molester at least five times before", Yami admitted with a sigh.

Clare giggled, before out-right laughing, "There, there, Yami. We all know you're not a _paedophile_", Clare said, waving her hand. Yami rolled his eyes.

Joey grinned as a turkey appeared in his hands, "YES! I'm cute!" he cheered and ate the turkey, thanking Android 24.

Clare stood up, "I think I may have a very interesting discovery! The more crazy, unnatural or strange-coloured an anime characters hair is, the more people love them!"

Yami and Yugi glanced at each other, "That explain a lot", they both muttered.

Joey grinned, "My hair's all blonde and puffy!"

Kaiba glared at Android 24, "I'd like to see you _try _and humiliate me."

"Oh, is that a challenge, Seto?" Mokuba grinned.

"Shut up, Mokuba", Kaiba muttered blankly.

Clare grinned as Android 24 high-fived her, "Thanks guys!" she glomped them both, "I hope it gets far, too!"

Everyone blinked and paled at the mention of 'fun' that was used suggestively in Android 24's words, and as they left, Clare turned around with a thoughtful look.

"I hope they can find a sound-proof room." Clare said.

* * *

Review again soon! XD I really enjoyed typing that up ^_^


	3. Everythings out of control, ALREADY!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh, but I'd love to own Yami (Winks)

Yami: (Eye twitches)

A/N: Yey, 3rd Chapter! I'm getting more reviews as it goes along so the updates are going to be placed further apart from each other, especially cause I have exam preparation to do!

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

The sound of violent tapping of computer keys could be heard in the room, there was no other noise. Seto Kaiba sat at the MAC; his fingers were but a blur to everyone who surrounded him as he attempted to hack the system so they could escape this nightmare.

"Almost.... done...... almost!" Seto muttered under his breath as he decoded all the numbers – which didn't make sense to the other characters in the room.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap. DING!

"YES!" Seto exclaimed as the solid steel door at the other end of the room opened, they all made a run for it – before...

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?" a voice screamed and everyone squealed in fear, backing away from the door and a scary looking Clare, holding a bunch of papers, arms crossed, a glare fixated on them.

"W-we were just... um", Yugi replied timidly, scratching his head.

"You were trying to escape? Well let me tell you why you don't want to go out there – guess what I've got guarding this place? Lions and Tiger and Bears!"

"Oh my!" Ryou Bakura squeaked comically, hiding behind his darker half.

"Onto the reviews!" Clare yelled with a grin, jumping to the podium as the doors sealed once again. Everyone groaned and went back to their usual spots.

**Tuttifluties**

**"Hello!" (nice,innocent voice)  
You know Yugi and Bakura, I noticed that you don't cut your hair at all, any  
particular reason for that?"  
(evil smile)  
"Well anyway,(takes razor out from behind back) I brought this thing here to  
change that.  
(razor cuts hair, Yugi and Bakura yelling)  
Ok I think that's enough damage, I mean remodeling for today. See ya, love  
you guys, especially Ryou and 'Kura. (Bakura-sama please don't kill me)**

Everyone looked up at the seemingly innocent reviewer and timidly glanced around, "Hello..." they all muttered.

Yugi and Yami Bakura raised their eyebrows at the reviewer's question. "I love my hair, it's tall and unique", Yugi answered, running a hand through his irregular shaped hairstyle.

"All I can say is 'L'Oreal, because I'm worth it'", Yami Bakura said with a mock wink.

((Second Disclaimer: I do not own L'Oreal))

Everyone is the room sighed exasperatedly from Yami Bakura's stolen strap-line. A strange, loud buzzing filled the room and everyone looked up toward the reviewer, who was threateningly holding up razors in the direction of Yugi and Bakura, who paled and backed away.

"No! Not my beautiful hair! NO!" Yugi screamed, running to hide behind Yami. "Save me, Yami!"

"No way am I letting them cut my hair instead!" Yami pushed Yugi out and ran away, Yugi screamed like a girl as he got his hair cut off. "Nooo!" Yugi cried, "My beautiful tri-coloured locks!"

Yami Bakura backed away from the reviewer, who lunged forward and managed to take out a reasonably sized lock from his white hair. "NO!" Yami Bakura yelled, eyes flashing with rage, "NEVER TOUCH MY HAIR! YOU CAN TOUCH ANYTHING BUT MY HAIR!-"

Que screaming Yami Bakura fan-girls.

Yami Bakura called upon the Shadow Magic and banished the razor to the next dimension, before picking up the lock of hair he had lost and glaring evilly at the reviewer, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL ME 'KURA!" he yelled, "But it's no surprise I'm one of the characters you love", he muttered under his breath and walked away whilst Ryou Bakura just blushed from the reviewers comment.

**Hauka**

**this is a question for yami do you have a girlfirend / boyfriend if not would  
you go out with and maybe each me to duel. for everyone else have what ever  
you want and for claire here a ray gun make sure you use it lipton.  
see ya later guys ;)**

Yami blushed at his question and twiddled his thumbs nervously, "Well, um... I... uhh...", he stuttered as everyone glanced at him expectantly, "You see.... um.... no, I haven't had a girl-friend", he admitted, hanging his head.

Clare 'aww'ed and pouted, "Poor Yami!" she cried, and hugged him comfortingly. Yami blushed as he tried to push Clare off of him, "Please let go!" he muttered, his blush deepening.

"Sorry, I just love seeing you blush, because you seem so Out-Of-Character", Clare grinned as Yami groaned and slapped his forehead frustrated.

"Why haven't you had a girl-friend?" Tristan asked, surprised. Yami opened his mouth to reply but Joey beat him to it.

"Girls are afraid that he'll Mind Crush them!" Joey cried and burst out laughing.

"That's it." Yami growled, "MIND CRUSH!" he pointed his hand in Joey's direction, who screamed. Suddenly, Joey looked fine and Yami looked confused, "Why didn't it work!?" Yami demanded.

"Sorry Yami," Clare said, "No violence unless me or the reviewers are causing it."

Yami pouted. Clare grinned, "And to prove that," she thanked the reviewer for the ray-gun and obliterated Lipton (Tea), before remembering that other reviewers had questions to ask her and reluctantly revived her.

**barryc10**

**Hey Clare, You're back! Mine won't include torture yet. But I hope I can  
kill.**

**Yami: So, Atem, What does your name mean?**

**Yugi: You know your name means game, right?**

**Joey: Jonouchi Katsuya, What is your dream for the future?**

**Kaiba: Why is your heart so cold and black? And don't give me that it was  
your father's doing! I know someone who'd get along well with you. (brings  
in Gaara BEFORE he fought Naruto.) Play nice, Gaara. And don't hurt anyone  
unless they hurt you first. Or try to anyway.**

**Mokuba: (Gives a Wii, with all the available games that are rated for a kid  
his age, but one M rated game gets mixed in accidentally. I'll let the author  
choose which one) Here, for my favorite Yugioh Chibi.**

**Pegasus: Maximillion, It's an honor. If only you could have designed the  
game in this world. Maybe it'd have been more fun.**

**Back to Kaiba: One more question: You don't have to answer it. What's the  
secret behind your holographic technology?**

**Bye!**

Clare grinned and glomped the unsuspecting reviewer, "Alright Barryc10!"

Yami blinked and thought about it, "My name, 'Atem', means 'Mythical Greek God of Annu'", he replied thoughtfully. Clare sat at the MAC to check that, and blinked.

"How did you know that, Yami?"

"I am a God, I know everything."

Clare sweat-dropped at Yami's reply.

Yugi grinned, "That's right, my name means Game... a funny coincidence, mind you?", he said.

Joey raised an eyebrow at the name, well he obviously hadn't seen the Japanese episodes! "My dream for the future is to be more richer than Kaiba!"

Kaiba snorted, "Like that'll ever happen."

Joey pouted.

Kaiba growled at the reviewer, "My heart is so cold and black only to people I hate-", Kaiba started, but Clare interrupted.

"So, everyone?"

"NO! I'm not cold to Mokuba", Seto replied. Mokuba smiled.

"Pfft, ONE person...", Clare muttered, shaking her head.

((Third Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto, because I have never seen it and I don't know who the hell Gaara is anyway, ...... now what?))

Gaara looked up at Kaiba and quoted "Love only yourself, and fight only for yourself."

Seto raised an eyebrow, "He may be a creepy little kid, but he _does_ have a point..."

Gaara then disappeared because Clare banished him, everyone blinked at Clare.

"What? He was scaring me."

Mokuba smiled with delight, "A Wii! I always wanted one of these but my big brother said I had to wait for my birthday!"

"Wii sucks...", Yami Bakura muttered under his breath.

Kaiba glared at the reviewer, "You're going to spoil Mokuba rotten!"

"Yay?" Clare randomly put in, thinking it would lighten the mood a little.

"Hey, what's this game? '_No more Heroes'_?" Mokuba began playing, and the slowly became corrupted from all the violence and swearing.

Clare stared blankly, "This isn't going to be good for the ratings....but then again, people might like a rebellious Mokuba!"

"F--- you, guys!" Mokuba yelled, running around the room.

Pegasus smirked, "Finally, someone respects me the way I should be respected. I thank you for your kind words and I'm sure it would have been just as big at hit here in your world."

"Suck up, you just don't want to get tortured in the next chapter." Clare muttered with a knowing nod.

"Shut up, Clare!" Pegasus exclaimed.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow, "Money", he replied simply.

**Z-nadka-zak**

**damnit clare, do you have to update when i'm sleeping . granted that gives  
you like 5 hours to update... oh well**

**i'm feeling... kinda evil today :-D**

**Yami: I LIEK PIEZ. DO U LIEK PIEZ. I LIEK PIEZ.**

**Yugi: so i herd u liek mudkipz XD**

**Joey: did you know... we pretty much have the same eating habits? *(teleports  
self into that bulletproof room with all the food)* bwuahaha! *(eats)***

**Yami Bakura: you're pretty cool. we should hang out sometime (pulls out  
knife)**

**Ryou Bakura: ...the latest UGO i've seen is UGO:A... do you talk in a british  
accent? i forgot**

**Malik Ishtar: do you know what "malik" means anyway?**

**Yami Marik: MUNKY (throws pie in face)**

**Tristan: er... *turns into goat* i felt like being random**

**Tea: do you have a sister "coffee"?**

**Seto Kaiba: (breaks the MAC) dont worry... (summons an old PC with dial-up)  
BWUAHAHA**

**Mokuba: how old are you? 13? and whats your IQ? (prepares to gloat)**

**Pegasus: (shaves his hair) HAHA**

**Clare: this is awesome sauce. can't wait for more TORTURE.**

Clare fell over anime-style, "Stop sleeping in the middle of the day then!" she said with a cheeky grin.

Yami's eye twitched at the insane-ness of this certain reviewer. "No, I do not like pie."

Yugi's eyes widened and he gasped, falling to the floor very dramatically, "Not the Mudkips, NOT THE MUDKIPZ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

((Fourth Disclaimer: I do not own Mudkip from Pokemon))

Joey's eyes widened as the reviewer began eating all _HIS_ food, "YOU ARE SO CRUEL!" he screamed, bursting into tears, "Not the food... not the yummy, yummy food!"

Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow as the reviewer pulled out a knife, "I hope your intentions are not to turn on me and stab me to death."

Ryou Bakura smiled innocently, "That's right, I'm British!" he said, Clare cheered.

"I'm British too!" she cried with joy.

Malik looked around embarrassedly, "No... I don't know what my own name means...I'm kinds sad...", he replied solemnly.

"I know what it means!" Clare exclaimed, but Malik ignored her and she pouted, "You're not very nice."

Yami Marik scream in annoyance as he summoned Shadow Magic, ready to send the reviewer into the depths of oblivion, otherwise known as the Shadow Realm, but Clare stopped him. "I'm sorry Yami Marik, I'm going to have to stop you there .....Ooh! Pie!" she wiped a bit of pie off Marik's face and ate it.

Tristan's eyes widened as he became a goat, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a goat!"

"How long have you felt like that?" Clare asked, since there was no Doctor around.

"Ever since I was a kid!" he replied.

((A/N: BOOM BOOM!))

"Stop making fun of my name!" Tea yelled at the reviewer, Clare looked at her thoughtfully, "Are you sure you don't have a sister called coffee, Lipton?"

"I'm sure! AND MY NAME IS NOT LIPTON!"

Seto Kaiba's eye twitched as the MAC exploded and the cruddy PC appeared, "I hate you..." was all he said.

Mokuba looked up and began swearing at the reviewer continuously until Clare covered his mouth, "I'm so sorry about that, Mokuba has recently been mentally corrupted by a videogame, I'll answer his question – he is 13 and at the moment, I'd say his IQ is somewhat ... 17?" Clare answered for him.

Pegasus screamed, "NOT MY HAIR!"

Clare sighed, "Why does everyone keep attacking the anime characters' hair?" Clare grinned, "But I guess it doesn't matter, TORTURE FOR THE WIN!"

Everyone stared at her wide-eyed.

**Oceaus Phoenix**

**ok, i'm back with a vengeance. i know i'm evil. since Seto, Mokuba, tea and  
Pegasus have not felt the horror of unclothed lighter selves and unaccessable  
food, first, Mokuba must cut his hair. bowl cut. Seto must switch to acer (THE  
HOARROAR), tea, she will be CLONED! and Pegasus will say that friends are not  
worthwhile. ^^ :-) oh, and Yugi, have a watermelon.**

Mokuba, Seto, Pegasus and Tea backed away, scared for their lives. All of a sudden, Mokuba's haired turned from the way it was to a 'bowl cut'. "OH EM GEE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Mokuba screamed, before yelling obscenities at the reviewer.

Seto's eye twitched and his hung his head, "Not that it will make much difference on this new computer... when I say new, I mean old and cruddy."

Tea raised an eyebrow then looked beside her and screamed when she saw an exact copy of herself. "WHAT THE HELL!?" she screamed.

"OH NOES!" everyone yelled, "ONE TEA WAS BAD ENOUGH!"

"Hey!" Tea and her clone yelled, glanced at each other and screamed again.

"I know!" Clare suddenly had an idea, "I'll destroy the fake one with the ray gun I got ealier!"

"But which one is fake!?"

Everyone started at the two Teas', trying to work on which was real and which was fake, eventually Clare just said, "I'll just kill both and see which one gets revived back", and that she did.

Yugi glanced up at the reviewer timidly as he was handed a watermelon, "Uhmm... t-thanks?" Yugi looked down at the watermelon, up at the reviewer, then over to Clare, then back at the watermelon.

"Don't ask, Yugi", Clare murmured, "Please just don't ask...".

* * *

A/N: MY FINGERS ARE ON FIRE! Gasp! That took me one hour to type out..... seven pages.... (Eye twitches) I don't know when the next chapter will be up, possibly Friday or Saturday. Please sit tight, and please review for more torture!


	4. Kaiba wants his computer back!

**Note: I am getting along the lines of 10 reviews per chapter I put up, please understand that I will not be writing all of them in one chapter, I have decided (With suggestion from a friend) to put chapters up with a maximum of six reviews typed in each chapter. It's not every day you see an author/authoress confused because she/he has TOO MANY reviews ^_^ Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own! But if I did then Yugi and Yami would have at least ONE kiss/hug/comfort scene. XD On with the chapter!**

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare walked into the room where she held her favourite anime characters captive, the room was silent and Clare looked around confusedly.

"Uh, guys?" She asked, walking deeper into the dark room, before deciding to turn on the light.

The room lit up and Clare's eyes narrowed when she could see absolutely no one there; she dropped the papers of reviews and looked around, wondering how everyone could have escaped.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE THEY GONE!?" Clare screamed, it was then that she noticed the video game lying beside the TV, '_No More Heroes_'.

_Mokuba wouldn't go anywhere without that... _Clare thought, picking up the game.

"DROP THE GAME!" a squeaky, yet evil voice yelled and Mokuba jumped up from behind the sofa, snatching the game away.

"Mokuba you idiot!" Yami Bakura yelled, who earned a punch to the face from Seto Kaiba.

"No one calls my brother an idiot except me."

Everyone stepped out from behind the sofa and Clare blinked confusedly, walking over to the sofa and looking behind it where there was space for a maximum of three people to hide; she turned to the others about to ask but Yami Marik interrupted her.

"Just do the damn reviews."

**CaramelldansenFTW**

**Clare: HEY! ... You don't know me but I love you.**

**Yami: What up, my brother?**

**Yugi: Okay, we all know you secretly have dirty sexual fantasies about Yami  
(Points at Yami Yugi), so this is a present for you. (Claps hands and and  
lifesize rubber-Yami-doll appears beside Yugi) Now take that, walk into that  
room (Points to room that appears out of no where) and go pleasure yourself  
with it.**

**Joey: YOU AND ME BOTH HAVE THE SAME KIND OF HAIR! Oh, yeah, gimme summa that,  
me brother! (Does the knuckle-respect thing)**

**Yami Bakura: Nice hair (Snickers)**

**Ryou Bakura: Why do you sound gay?**

**Malik Ishtar: HELLO THERE BINKY BOI!**

**Yami Marik: Do you use your millenium rod for certain kinds of things, other  
than controlling people, summoning shadow magic?**

**Tristan: You're voiced by the same person who does Barney the Dinosaur, did  
you know that?**

**Tea: Biatch.**

**Seto Kaiba: Hi Brock. (Yes, from Pokemon)**

**Mokuba: (Sends him to Rehab)**

**Pegasus: What kind of a name is Maxamillion? (Snickers)**

**Clare again: Once again, I love you...**

Clare stared at the reviewer and blinked confusedly at what they had just said, "You love me? Um, wow? I have a stalker?"

Joey raised an eyebrow, "Don't worry, Clare! I'll protect you!" Joey stepped between the reviewer and the authoress.

"Joey... I don't need a bodyguard but thanks anyway", Clare replied with a smile.

Yami raised an eyebrow at the strange reviewer, "You're brother? I _think _you have the wrong person..."

Yugi's eyes widened and he turned as red as a beetroot, "WHAT!?!?!?!" he screamed at the top of his voice, everyone covered their ears at the high-pitched shriek.

"Yugi, is that true!?" Yami asked, eyes wide with a tinge of red on his cheeks.

"N-NO!" Yugi screamed, shrinking away in embarrassment.

"Yugi stuttered, he's lying!" Yami Marik and Yami Bakura yelled in sync, smirks on their faces.

"I AM NOT!" Yugi cried. Everyone watched as the reviewer pushed Yugi into the random room that appeared before throwing the life-size rubber Yami doll into the room too and locking the door.

"Um, Yugi, I don't think the reviewer will let you out until you do what was said", Clare called to him.

"I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH A DOLL!" came the muffled reply.

"Too bad, Yugi, I guess you'll just have to stay in there forever", Malik exclaimed and laughed. All the while, Yami was still blushing from where he sat away from everyone else.

Joey blinked at the reviewer, "Don't be silly! Your hair isn't nearly as puffy as mine is!" He backed away from the reviewer.

Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow at the reviewer.

"For the hundredth time! I'm not gay, I'm just Briti-" Ryou Bakura was cut short as Clare clamped her hand over his voice.

"Listen Ryou, I do NOT want to be sued by LittleKuriboh!"

Malik blinked and took a few steps away from the reviewer.

Yami Marik rolled his eyes, "No, I do not use my millennium rod for sexual pleasure, what is wrong with you, you sick twisted freak?"

Tristan blinked, "Who's Barney The Dinosaur?"

As everyone pondered over that question, Clare broke into song.

"_I hate you, You hate me,_

_Let's go out and kill Barney,_

_With a Nick-Nack-Paddy-Whack,_

_Barney on the floor,_

_No more purple Dinosaur_", Clare grinned as everyone looked at her as if she were insane.

Tea growled at the reviewer, "Shut up!"

"Oh, great comeback Tea. Someone calls you a biatch, you tell them to shut up." Clare muttered sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

Seto Kaiba rolled his eyes, "I don't know what the hell you've talking about." He stated with a fed-up look.

"Eric Stuart voiced Brock too", Clare said with a giggle, "Eric Stuart is really nice, the complete opposite of his voice character of Yu-Gi-Oh!"

"Go to hell", Seto replied.

"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!? LET ME F---ING GO!" Mokuba yelled as he was wheeled away on a mini fork-lift truck.

Pegasus sniffed, "I'll have you know that my mummy named me that! What kind of name is **CaramelldansenFTW**?"

Clare hid behind Yami, "Protect me Yami! The insane reviewer wants to stalk me!"

Yami narrowed his eyes at the reviewer.

"I thought you said you didn't need a bodyguard!" Joey protested.

"Sorry Joey, Yami is hotter than you", Clare explained and Joey pouted; Yami blushed.

**YamiYugi223**

**To: Yami,**

**Do not worry, I won't torture you! I REALLY like you, but I won't go as far  
as torturing you.  
Anyways...**

**Do you consider Yugi as your brother?**

**And Yugi...  
Do you consider Yami to be your older brother?**

Yami blushed, "Why does everyone like me?" Clare grinned and glomped him.

"Come on! You are hawt!" Clare exclaimed, everyone else in the room raised an eyebrow and backed away from her. Yami only blushed further.

"Well, in a way, I do consider Yugi as a brother, but more of a very close friend", Yami answered his question, trying to get Clare off of him.

There was a silence and Clare suddenly gasped, "Yugi is still in the other room having sex with the rubber Yami doll!" she yelled.

"I am not!" a muffled reply came from the room and everyone turned to it. Clare waved her hand and Yugi quickly ran out before Clare could change her mind. Yugi cleared his throat, glaring at everyone in the room when they raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, I do see Yami like an older brother", he paused to glare at the previous reviewer, "NOT A LOVER!"

Clare giggled and grinned evilly, "Oh but we all know the truth Yugi", she winked at him and Yugi groaned, burying his face in his hands.

**Kia Elric**

**OH MY GAWD RYOU! *glomps Ryou and won't let go* I LOVE YOU! PLEASE PLEASE  
PLEASE CLARE MAKE HIM GO ON A DATE WITH ME.  
*sighs*  
Ok now for the question,  
Ryou:Why dont you love me!?*cries*  
Bunny-kun(yami bakura):can i touch your hair?  
Yugi:ok if you 16 do you have a drivers license,and if you do why don't you  
drive?  
Yami:*giggles and gives yami kitty ears* cute  
Joey:*gives choclate cake*  
Seto:*steals computer and drops out window* Jerk,didn't come to my birthday  
party  
THANKS!  
LUV YA!**

Ryou screamed as he was thrown to the floor, a rabid fan-girl clinging to his waist, continuously exclaiming 'I love you' at the top of her voice. Ryou simply stared wide-eyed, glancing around hopefully at everyone, wondering if they would come and help.

Clare laughed, "I would happily let him go out on a date with you, but right now he has to stay and answer the rest of the question from other reviewers."

Ryou pouted, "Don't I get a say in-" he was interrupted.

"No." Clare said bluntly.

Ryou stared wide-eyed at the reviewer, "I hardly know you!"

Yami Bakura growled and covered his precious hair with his arms and hands. "If you dare go near my hair, I'll send you to the shadow realm! AND NEVER CALL ME BUNNY-KUN EVER AGAIN!"

Yugi blinked, "Um...I don't have a drivers license... even If I did then I don't think Yami would let me, he says I eat too much sugar, therefore I could crash the car." Yami smirked.

"Well it's true", Yami muttered.

"Haha, Yugi on a sugar high, I just GOTTA see that", Clare turned to reviewers, "You hear that reviewers, feed him sugar!!!" she said.

Yami's eyes widened as he grew two fluffy kitty-ears. "W-what...?" he muttered confusedly, poking the ears.

"AWWWW! MEGA-AWESOME-CUTENESS!" Clare screamed, jumping at him. Yami fell to the floor, eyes wide. Clare tickled behind his ears and he gave a purr, before quickly covering his mouth, not believing the noise he'd just made.

"Neko Yami!" Clare squealed, still glomping Yami.

Joey smiled widely and gladly accepted the Chocolate cake, "Thank you, oh wise reviewer!" Joey praised the reviewer.

Seto's eyes widened, "WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO RID ME OF MY COMPUTERS!?"

"Didn't you hear her, you didn't go to her Birthday Party." Clare pointed out.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!" he screamed back.

**Hauka**

**hey sorry yami i didnt mean to embarrass you *blush* look i just wanted to come  
by and say cheers for answering my question.  
right on to my next question friendship bitch umm sorry i mean tea why in the  
name of ra do go never shut the hell up and leave yami alone he mine BITCH !  
oh here a prenst for everyone expect lipton all the food you want and for  
yami heres a blue eyes white drangon  
in a bit amy.**

Yami smiled a little, "Eh, it's okay", he replied.

Tea growled at the reviewer, "I AM NOT A FRIENDSHIP BITCH, I DON'T GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT EVERY EPISODES!"

"Actually, Tea, you do", pretty much everyone replied. Tea cried in the corner.

Tristan and Joey jumped in for all the food whereas Yami cocked his head, "A blue eyes white dragon? Hmm, thank you, but I thought the last one got ripped by Kaiba?"

Seto snorted.

**GoddessOfPhantoms**

**Hi all I come bearing gifts and torture.  
Yugi: YOU'RE SO CUTE! have a chocolate birthday cake and a bag of sugar.  
Seto: I don't like you (breaks PC and replaces it with a typewriter) CACKLE!  
Yami Bakura: I find it funny when you're angry so... (shaves his hair bald  
and waxes it so it doesn't grow back) oh and I'm invincible so you can't hurt  
me.  
Yami: pull this piece of string hanging from the ceiling that drops a piano  
on lipton.  
Ryou: have this Linkin Park cd.  
Pegasus: You have a serious drinking problem let me help ( destroys his wine  
cellar and every wine bottle in the room) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Mokuba: Pull this piece of string that opens a trap door containing rabid  
kittens, puppies and bunnies.**

Yugi blushed and looked down at the gifts, his eyes turned starry at the bag of sugar. "Suuuggggaaaarrrrr", Yugi drooled.

"Someone get the sugar away from him!" Yami yelled; Joey and Yami Bakura dashed toward Yugi but Yugi ate the sugar before they could reach him and began jumping around the room singing '_All things Bright and Beautiful_'.

Seto's eye twitched as he stared at his new typewriter in front of him, "You are so cruel", was all he managed to say.

Yami Bakura screamed as his pretty white locks fell to the floor, "MY FAN-GIRL MAGNET! IT'S GONE! NOW NO ONE WILL SEND ME THEIR BLOODY FINGERS ANYMORE!"

Clare's eyes widened as she was once again chased by LittleKurioh fans.

Yami grinned and pulled the string eagerly. Lipton (Tea) was flattened by a crappy looking piano that was old and dusty.

"Ha-ha", everyone paused and pointed at Tea to laugh.

Ryou blinked at the CD. "Um...thanks?"

"LINKIN PARK FOR THE WIN!" Clare screamed, grabbing the CD and playing it on the stereo.

Pegasus began to cry as he realised he would never be able to drink his dearly beloved wine whilst sitting next to a pool trying to get a tan again, like in the movie 'Pyramid Of Light' (Spoiler attack).

Mokuba grinned evilly, he pulled the string and a trap door opened beneath Tristan, all the characters in the room could hear Tristan screaming for help and that the rabid bunnies were faster than him.

**Oceaus Phoenix**

**two words, thats all it takes.  
duke  
devlin  
two moar words.  
friendship.  
SUCKS!  
^^ oh, and me yami says hi.**

Clare raised an eyebrow, "So you want Duke Devlin in here too? I'll have to think about it, it's kinda crowded in here...", she replied with a grin.

"Friendship sucks!" Everyone began chanting in Tea's general direction, and she sunk back against the wall, crying like a little baby.

And then another cool looking guy appeared. He grinned coolly, "Why hello. I am Yami Phoenix. You may also call me Darkfire, or Deep if you wish. Oh, and Hi", he smirked and then disappeared.

"What a strange character that was..." Yugi muttered aloud.

"Yeah, he had some cool names though", Clare grinned.

* * *

**A/N: If your review was not in this chapter, then I sincerely apologise, and I promise it shall be in the next chapter. The problem is I couldn't fit them all in here. I shall try my best to update tomorrow. **

**Thank you.**


	5. Sugar High Hikari

A/N: Sorry for the slightly late update guys... but... 15 reviews for this chapter I think -_- Well, 14 or 15... This is gonna take a while to type out...

Yami: What are you waiting for then? TYPE!

A/N: Okay, on the condition that you do the disclaimer!

Yami: (Sighs) Clare-stovold does not own our asses (Rating goes up to T), she does not own Yu-Gi-Oh in any way, shape or form, which is obvious because if she did I'd have a scene where I would be molesting Yugi or something...

A/N: -_- Can it, Yami. You were scolding me for stalling.

Yami: (Grins and shrugs)

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare walked into the large room, only to blink and raise an eyebrow. Everyone was huddled around Seto's laptop (which Clare had no idea how he got) and were laughing every now and then.

"Guys?" Clare asked suspiciously, but no one seemed to notice. "If you're trying to hack main security again then I'll have to-" she was interrupted.

"Shh!" they mumbled to Clare before turning back to the computer and giggling a bit more. Clare walked over and her eyes widened. They were all watching Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series **((Second Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series, all jokes and credit out of it go to LittleKuriboh)).**

"Hey! You shouldn't be watching that!" Clare all but screamed.

"Why? It's super-special-awesome!" Yugi cried with glee.

"NO YUGI! DON'T SAY THAT!" Clare yelled, clubbing him over the back of the head, sending him to the ground. "...Ooops, sorry Yugi."

Yugi sat up rubbing his head and pouting. Clare snatched Kaiba's laptop, who then looked absolutely furious, but stopped when Clare shot him a very evil death glare that would put everyone to shame.

"On with the reviews!"

**Neo Flame**

**(Walks through a portal) Why hello there. I am Neo Flame. Prepare to be  
demolished! Now, I will spare some of you, if you deserve it that is.**

**Seto Kaiba: (shakes head) Shameful, simply shameful. You posses a bunch of  
rare cards and yet you can't even beat Yugi? (He drops down dead due to heart  
attack) Death Notes for the win!**

**Pegasus: (Takes out a gun) I'll kill you! (shoots, but instead of a bullet, a  
flag with the word 'boom' appeares) I was kidding. (I pull the trigger again,  
and the flag is shot out, penetrating Pegasus' chest) Whoops, no I wasn't.**

**Tristan: If you looked up the word 'useless' in a dictionary, then you would  
see a picture of your face. (He also dies due to heart attack)**

**Yami Bakura: If you could have one person in this room killed, then who would  
it be?**

**Yami Marik: (Hands him a Morph Gun similar to that one from the Jak and  
Daxter games) Quick explanation, it has twelve functions, a short ranged  
blaster, a shockwave generator, a ultra powerful bomb, a laser gun, a laser  
gun where the shots deflects off of walls, a thing that shoots tons of laser  
beams, a rapid firing laser gun, an electricity wave, a rapid firing gun that  
homes in on the target, an energy grenade launcher, an anti gravitation field  
and a mini nuke.  
Use it wisely.**

**Tea: Who do you prefer, Yugi or Yami?**

**Yami: Which of the people gathered in this room do you hate the most?**

**Yugi: Do you feel like Yami has ever been stealing your spotlight? If so,  
then slap him with this iron glove. (Hands over an iron glove)**

**Clare: Don't worry about this mess. I bought a Reviver 80. It revives dead  
people in an instant and it makes a nice cup of hot chocolate. I have a spare  
one so...(plants the machine inide the room) There.**

**(gets out before anyone can blink)**

Everyone stared at the reviewer. Kaiba growled, "Why you little-!?" before anything more could happen, Kaiba gripped his heart and fell to the floor, motionless.

Clare blinked, "Hmm, I guess I better revive him..." she clicked her fingers and Seto looked around confusedly.

"What the hell am I doing on the floor!?" he yelled, getting up.

Pegasus gasped and flinched as the gun was held up and the reviewer pulled the trigger, when nothing happened he opened one eye and then scowled, "Cheap. That's the oldest trick in the-" the flag then pierced his heart and he died. Oh no.

"Greeeat, now I gotta revive HIM too!" Clare rolled her eyes as she clicked her fingers and Pegasus also came back to life.

Tristan blinked, "Really?"

Everyone began laughing and Tristan blinked again, realising he'd been tricked... and then he ALSO died of a heart attack.

"GOD DAMNIT! WHY CAN'T ANYONE STAY ALIVE TODAY!?" Clare clicked her fingers yet again and Tristan woke up.

Yami Bakura looked at the reviewer as if he were stupid, "Who else? I'd have Clare killed."

"BAKURA! Meany!" Clare screamed and pointed accusingly at him.

Yami Marik stared at the gun and slowly smirked, "That... is.... cool", he said, taking in all the information of necessary functions, before aiming it at the author.

"Bakura, you're wish is about to come true!" Yami Marik stated as he pulled the trigger of the gun.

_Outside the building, a very loud explosion could be heard all the way from Australia._

Clare glared pointedly at Yami Marik for ruining everything.

"You survived!?" Yami Marik screamed in disbelief.

"I'm the authoress you spiky-haired freak", Clare muttered, before clicking her fingers and having the place restored.

Tea raised an eyebrow, "Huh? I prefer Yami, of course."

Yami burst into tears and Yugi came up and patted him on the back, "I'm so sorry Yami, I'd hoped you didn't have to deal with her." Tea growled at everyone and sat back down in her corner.

Yami wiped his eyes and stared pointedly at the reviewer, "I hate Tea the most", the said girl burst into tears as Yami had done not moments before.

"What!? I don't think Yami stole my spotlight! I certainly don't want to hit him with an iron glove!" Yugi dropped the glove which accidentally fell on his foot and he whined about his sore toes as everyone ignored him.

Clare's eyes lit up and she glomped the reviewer, "Sweet! I don't have to revive everyone manually anymore!"

**Sexygirl23**

**YAMI is so HOT! I wish he was a real person!**

**Kaiba is also hot as well but not as hot as yami**

**Put me in one in this story if you wright more saying:**

**Yami: Yami you are so CUTE! Do you have a girlfriend? if you don't maybe we  
can go out ,i say pictures of you on a website of how you looked  
when you were a kid you were you mis yugi after you left to the  
spirit world?**

**This is a message for Tia...SOMEONE KILL HER PLEASE!**

Yami smirked, "Hell yes, I'm hot."

Everyone's eyes widened. "Did Yami suddenly become more confident?" Yugi asked.

Clare grinned, "Yeah, that'd be my doing, I got tired of him blushing when people told him he was cute, hot, sexy etcetera..."

Kaiba sneered at the reviewer, "Personally, a lot of people prefer me to Yami."

"Yeah, nutters", Joey retorted for the reviewer. Kaiba threw a death glare at Joey.

Yami gave a seductive smile, "Well, I am hot, aren't I? I turn a lot of girls down because they are just asking to be mind-crushed, but maybe we could go out sometime", Yami winked and everyone muffled their laughter.

"Whoops, I think his self-confidence produced into absolute smugness", Clare pointed out with a laugh.

"And yes, wasn't I just adorable as a child? Everyone loved me. And yeah yeah, I missed Yugi, whatever, but enough about him, let's talk more about me!" Yami continued and Clare hugged Yugi, who pouted.

Tea yelped as everyone quickly obliged to kill her countless times, but sadly she had to be revived by the Reviver machine.

**Tuttifluties**

**Hi everyone, I'm supposed to be doing my geography homework but I feel  
inspired. I'm back for more desruction-I mean, fun. I feel like torturing  
someone for no apparent reason today. Don't worry you two (looks at Bakura and  
Yugi) there will be no hair cutting today.  
(takes something out of a bag)  
Today you get to run with-SCISSORS! And to make it more entertaining for  
everyone out there, (dumps a whole bunch of stuff on the floor plus some rocks  
and gravel. Oh! Let's add some pieces of glass!! Ok, I'm done. No I'm not,  
MARBLES!! Now I'm really done) here are some objects to trip over. Doesn't  
that sound fun and appealing?  
Oh yeah, Clare, if anyone gets injured or dies, please make sure they get  
back in time for other people to decapitate them-I mean, play nicely with  
them.**

Yugi and Yami Bakura glanced at each other nervously before shrugging, the reviewer couldn't lie, right? Right?

Clare stared in a blank manner as everyone grabbed scissors and started running dangerously with them against their will, the authoress cringed when a bunch of slippery items also appeared. Everyone ended falling over and blinding themselves by stabbing their eyes out.

"Oh my", Clare muttered over the cries and screams of pain. Clare clicked her fingers and everyone stopped screaming, somehow they had been cured. Clare grinned and turned to the reviewer, "I'm waaay ahead of ya!" she replied cheekily.

**YamiYugi223**

**To Yami: What do you think of Vivian Wong, and Téa's friendship lectures?  
Oh, also, I think you are SEXY!**

**And Yugi: How long have you known Yami? Also, what do you think of Téa and  
Rebecca?**

"Hmm", Yami muttered, scratching his chin, "Vivian Wong annoyed me terribly, always trying to jump Yugi when she had the chance", Yami sighed and shook his head, "As for Tea's friendship speeches, well – let's put it this way. If you wrote them all in a book, your hand would fall off before you'd finish it or it would be exactly ninety-two-trillion miles long (if you stretched it out) if it were in size font 0.5." Yami said thoughtfully, before he sent the reviewer a smirk and winked, "Sexy is my middle name."

"Wouldn't that make your name... Yami Sexy Yugi?" Clare asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up, Clare", Yami said sweetly, eyes still on the reviewer. Clare 'hmpf'ed and crossed her arms.

"I've known Yami for a long time...", Yugi turned to see Yami flirting with the reviewer, "perhaps too long. Well, Tea – I hate her, obviously. As for Rebecca, she's not as bad as Tea but is still annoyingly clingy."

**barryc10**

**Hello again.**

**Mokuba: (Sweatdrops.) Mokuba, being a tough guy is alright, just don't swear  
all the time, or I'll revert you back to the way you were before, and get rid  
of no More Heroes. (Under breath: Should just get rid of it anyway.)**

**Seto: You realize that some part of your name means seahoase, right? Also,  
do you have Burst Stream of Destruction? If not, here. (Gives.)**

**Joey: Hm... Here's a few extra cards to go with your red Eyes, Joey. (Gives  
him Red Eyes B. Chick, Red Eyes Darkness Dragon, several other dragons, and  
Inferno Fire Blast.)**

**Yami: Since you are the controller of Dark Magician, here. (Gives Dark  
Magic Attack Spell Card.) Also, here. (Gives Skilled White Magician.) Now  
you can Summon Buster Blader easier.**

**Yugi: Aw, you lost your hair. (Snaps fingers) Now one random act of  
torture shall befall you.**

**Pegasus: For being a suck-up, (Snaps fingers) Two random acts of torture  
shall befall you.**

**Malik twins: For the Hikari, Nothing shall befall you. For the Yami, you  
shall meet the Japanese God of Death! (Snaps fingers.)**

**Bye!**

Mokuba stuck his tongue out at the reviewer, "I'll swear whenever I f---ing feel like it!" he exclaimed, sticking his middle finger up at the reviewer.

"Oooh", Clare cringed, "You did NOT just flip the reviewer off..."

Seto raised an eyebrow quizzically and stared at the reviewer, "That is quite strange, but in all honesty, I don't really care much."

"Whoa, did Kaiba just reply politely?" Joey asked, peering sideways at him from where he was playing on the PS3.

"And what the hell is Burst Stream Of Destruction?" Kaiba then asked and Joey retracted his earlier comment.

Joey grins at the reviewer whilst holding the many cards in his hands, "Thank you, man!"

Yami raised an eyebrow then smirked at the cards in his hands, "Why thank you, I'll be sure to have these with me next time I duel."

Yugi pouted and then screamed and ran as a lawn-mower appeared out of nowhere and chased him around the room.

Pegasus growled but squealed loudly as an unsuspecting person dropped ice down the back of his collar. "IT'S COLD!" he screamed, running around, unable to get rid of it.

Malik smiled and gave a sigh of relief whereas Yami Marik raised an eyebrow and backed away from the said 'God of Death' whose name has slipped my memory.

**Oceaus Phoenix**

**i hereby give kaiba...  
A MACBOOK PRO WITH LEOPARD OSX, LOGIC PRO, AND HACKING XPERT PRO  
ok, I would like to ask questions...  
Yugi: Yugi-sama, can you understand Yami when he speaks egyptian? and if you  
can, when is the best time for it?  
Yami: hello, i would like to ask, are you ok with the old Yugioh, or do you  
prefer fanfiction?  
Joey: here is the key to any door. ^^  
Malik: if you could pick one person in the room to be trapped with, who would  
it be, and why?  
Marik: How many times do you do 'it' per week, if you do 'it' at all  
Tristan: HAVE ANOTHER WATERMELON!  
Tea: I'm sorry about last time, but, what pairing do you most approve of, if  
any, and why. none of these can feature you.  
Pegasus: how about... I GIVE YOU ALL THE RED WINE SPRITZER YOU NEED FOR 300  
CIVIL WARS?! ^^  
Ryou: i really feel that you are not treated well enough by all the others,  
just treated like a cute boy who's an object of fantasies by fangirls, and i  
have a soft spot for you. I would like to hang out sometime. I'M NOT HITTING  
ON YOU. just i wanna be friends, you're a nice guy.  
Bakura: here's your hair back  
Mokuba: Listen, dude. erm, learn hacking from ur bro.**

**well, thats everyone. thx again, and i will not be evil. oh wait, my mistake  
-covers hikari's with chocolate sauce-  
-makes yami's very hungry-**

"Oh hell yes!" Seto exclaimed, accessing the internet and typing at super speed.

Clare blinked, "I think that means thank you."

Yugi shook his head, "No, I can't understand Egyptian... he doesn't usually speak it – but if he did then 4Kids would translate it into English anyways. And wrongly, I might add."

Yami raised an eyebrow, "Well, there are a few things I would change in the series, for example, when I was Pharaoh, apparently I had no lover! That's crazy! Look at me, I'm a freaking sex god!"

Joey's eyes lit up, "Is this like a skeleton key or something? Well it's awesome! I'll be back in a while, I'm just going to Kaiba's bank vault!"

"MUTT!" Kaiba screamed, before using the internet to load all his money into a back up account before Joey could get to there.

Malik scratched his head, "To be trapped with? Hmm, no one really, but if I had to choose then I'd pick Ryou Bakura cause he's probably the least idiotic and abnormal person in this room besides me." Everyone gave him a death glare except Ryou, who smiled.

Marik blinked, "You want to know how many times I do 'IT' per week. Well how about this, how many times to _you_ do 'it' per week, care to answer?"

Tristan stared at the watermelon in his hands and shrugged, "Okay...", he put it in the fridge after finding nothing else to do with it.

Tea gave a 'hmpf' and muttered "I don't have a favourite pairing that doesn't feature me!"

"Deal! Just give me my wine now!" Pegasus cried comically.

Ryou smiled to the reviewer, "Okay!" he exclaimed happily, "We could go to the arcade! Or the amusement park!"

Bakura growled and muttered something in Egyptian under his breath, grabbing his hair and gluing it back onto his head.

Mokuba shrugged and watched over his brother's shoulder as Kaiba typed in his bank account details, unaware of Mokuba's presence.

Suddenly, Yugi, Malik and Ryou had buckets of chocolate sauce tipped over them and all looked up to see their Yami's drooling and looking very hungry indeed, this progressed into a wild goose chase around the room.

**z-nadka-zak**

**aww...yey!  
"I hate you, You hate me,  
Let's go out and kill Barney,  
With a Nick-Nack-Paddy-Whack,  
Barney on the floor,  
No more purple Dinosaur"  
I REALLY need to make a song on that...  
LP FTW!  
Because my review was not in the last chapter, most of this will just be  
repeated**

**Yami: 'OW KEN U NUT LIEK PIEZ?!**

**Yugi: Yes the Mudkips, YES THE MUDKIPZ! YES**

**Joey: KAMEHAMEHA! *fiars shoop-da-woop lazah***

**Yami Bakura: Of course not, why would you think that? . *cuts his clothes  
with a knife* HAVE FUN WITH THE FANGIRLS! *pushes into room of rabid  
fangirls***

**Ryou Bakura: So you're British too, eh? How'd you like the snow that we had?**

**Malik Ishtar: Do you want me to tell you...?**

**Yami Marik: Just TRY sending me to the shadow realm... it won't work. It's  
like me sending you to your home :-D**

**Tristan: *turns into a coin* HAH! HAHAHAH! ROFLMAO1**

**Tea: O RLY?**

**Seto Kaiba: Thanks for the compliment**

**Mokuba: Just try it. I can so pwn you. In ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!**

**Pegasus: YES YOUR HAIR! *Forces it to grow out in a florescent blue  
bowl-cut***

**Clare: a limit to reviews... okay then**

Clare giggled, "Glad you like my altered Barney song!"

Yami backed away from the insane reviewer, "I JUST DON'T LIKE PIES, OKAY!?"

Yugi fell to the floor, curled into a ball whilst sucking his thumb, repeating "not the Mudkips" over and over again.

Joey screeched as he just barely dodged the 'shoop-da-whoop' laser-beam. "What the hell, dude!?"

Yami Bakura covered his nakedness quickly, in a panic as he hid were he could from the...

Que screaming Yami Bakura fan-girls.

...fan-girls.

Ryou Bakura smiled at the reviewer, "What I said was, enjoy the snow whilst we could – it won't happen for another millennia."

Malik nodded blankly, "Yes tell me."

Yami Marik stared at the reviewer confusedly, "Eh?"

"Oh no! I'm worth a penny less!" Tristan cried, as he made an annoying penny sound as he rolled along the floor.

"Ya, really!" Tea screamed.

Seto Kaiba grunted, seemingly not paying attention.

Mokuba stuck his tongue out, "You're on! I challenge you to the game 'No More Heroes'! I'm already an expert at that f---ing game!"

Pegasus's eye twitched as he stared at his hair in the mirror, "No... I look like WEEVIL UNDERWOOD!"

Clare waved it off, "Nah, forget what I said about the review limit, I didn't mean for the reviewers, I meant how many I would respond but I changed my mind... I mean... this chapter is the longest so far."

**Android 24**

**(Walks in laughing Hysterically) I am back!**

**Kaiba: As my way of embarassing you. I will force you to make out with Yami  
Yugi against your (casts spell that makes Kaiba's body make out with Yami but  
makes Kaiba still be aware of it) EHhehehehe**

**Yami: Sorry but I had to embearass him, you understand right?**

**Joey: What did it feel like when you were under Maric's control?**

**Tea: Same question for you.**

**Clare: I just put a Naruto fanfic, would please read and review, I need  
something else to write besides Dragonball Z fics, I was gonna burn out. :D**

**Maric: I think you're pretty awesome but were pretty scary when your Yami  
side came out.**

**And that is all for now Bye!**

Kaiba's eyes widened, "YOU TERRIBLE PERSON! IF THIS WASN'T A CHILDREN'S STORY THEN I'D HAVE YOU KILLED BY EVIL THUGS!" he screamed but was cut off as he crushed his lips to Yami's, who struggled desperately to get away, and when he did, he kicked Kaiba where the sun don't shine.

Yami glared at the reviewer in outrage, "NO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Couldn't you have made him snog Yugi instead!?" he screamed whilst he wiped his tongue on his sleeve.

Everyone glared at the Pharaoh, "Pharaoh", they all muttered accusingly.

Joey scratched his head, "Well, I couldn't see a thing, I could only hear what Marik was making my controlled body say, and I was annoyed the whole time to put it bluntly."

Tea shrugged, "I didn't really have much to do, all I did was sit in a chair."

Clare grinned, "Kay, I'll check it out later because right now I have a whole lot of work still to do."

Malik shrugged, "Yeah, he is kinda insane..."

**Hauka**

**claire i love this it soo cool lol okay i have a question for yami Bakura  
what the most famous tomb you have ever broken in to? and yes lipton you are a  
friend ship bitch.  
Oh and yami that blue eyes is the last one ever made for some reason they  
made 5 not 4.**

Clare grinned, "Glad you like it!"

Yami Bakura shrugged, "I've broken into many tombs, all of them were pretty high class and tricky, but I got passed them, I mean, after all, I AM the Thief King!"

Tea screeched some obscenities to the reviewer.

Yami blinked, "Oh... cool!"

Seto growled, "Great, another card I have to tear up."

**GoddessOfPhantoms**

**Hi it's me again (glomps Yugi and won't let go)  
Yugi: I LOVE YOU! here's 10 bags of sugar a dark magician plushy, all three  
of Seto's BEWD cards and £1 Million.  
Joey: I didn't get to torture you last time so I'm putting you on a diet and  
just so you don't try anything, give all your food to Yugi.  
Yami: Out of all the boys in the room who would you date? its yugi isn't it.  
ADMIT IT!  
Tea: Your torture for today is to repeatedly watch Barney for 24 hours  
straight.  
Seto and Pegasus: Just so you know, I've bought both of your companies so you  
have nothing to live for.  
Tristan: Walk through that gold door to the right which says "hamburgers this  
way" which actually leads into a black hole.  
Joey: You have to spend six hours locked in a cupboard with Seto.  
Yami Bakura AKA bunny-kun: If your hair loss didn't get you angry, then give  
Yami the Millenium ring.  
finally (turns Yugi into a chibi with bunny ears) SO CUTE! (glomps him  
again).**

Yugi blushed and then smiled widely at the sugar, "More sugar..." he muttered as if in trance. He thanked the reviewer and put the plushie and cards in his pocket before grabbing the sugar and eating it all, his pupils then dilated and he grabbed the 1 million pounds to buy more sugar.

"Oh god..." Clare muttered, slapping her forehead.

"Not my food, NOT THE FOOD! ANYTHING BUT THE FOOD!" Joey screamed as he fell to the floor crying.

Yami backed away and blushed a little. "So what if it is? I might be gay, so it doesn't matter!" Yami said, crossing his arms.

"We know you also love Yugi, Yami, don't deny it!" Clare chorused and everyone smirked at Yami, who blushed and sat in the corner.

Tea could be heard screaming as she was taken into the other room, screaming for all the 24 hours that she watched the purple dinosaur sing songs. When she came out, she was even more deranged than usual.

Seto and Pegasus screamed, "Not Kaiba Corp!" Seto yelled, getting onto his computer to try and buy it back. "MY LOVELY Industrial Illusions! No!" Pegasus cried.

"Hamburgers my favourite!" Tristan yelled happily, walking into the room, screaming as he got killed by the black hole – but was then revived by the Reviver machine.

Yami Bakura growled viciously, "I WILL NOT GIVE THAT OAF MY MILLENIUM RING!"

"That's Pharaoh to you", Yami growled.

The still sugar high Yugi grew bunny ears and became chibified.

Que screaming Yugi fan-girls.

"He has fan-girls?" Yami Marik asked.

**Golden Lockhart**

**(A faint pop sounds in the room. Golden has just apparated himself into the  
room, seeing as he's somewhat of a wizard.)**

**Greetings all. Did you miss me? (Everyone, except Clare, goes 'no') Yeah, I  
missed you too. So, let's get down to it:**

**Lipton: Ok, it's not Lipton anymore, it's Tea...Bag. Get it? Tea-Bag.**

**Jeoy: Sing one of your greatest hits "Joey's got a gun". Here's one for  
visual effect!**

**Seto: While on the set of Yugioh, what do you do to prepare your role?**

**Well, gotta go.**

Everyone but Clare jumped at the popping sound and turned to the Wizard who had just entered. They raised an eyebrow, "No, we didn't miss you", they all replied.

"I did", Clare murmured timidly.

Tea growled at the reviewer, trying to ignore.

"Yeah, cause Tea's such a bag!" Clare yelled, earning a scowl from Tea.

"Wait... I have a Greatest Hit!?" Joey cried in confusion.

Seto 'hmpfed' and narrowed his eyes. "I ordered everyone around, what do you think?"

"He even told the director off multiple times", Yami pointed out.

Clare scratched her head and grinned.

* * *

**A/N: OMFG! MY HANDS FELL OFF! OUCH THEY HURT! This was 12 pages long... and my wrists are in agony...**

**I probably won't be updating till the weekend now but I'll make it up to you cause I'll update next week a couple of times too (I have half term then).**


	6. So I heard you liek Mudkipz?

A/N: Updating on Valentine's Day! Whoop!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. There, put it plain and simple. **

Yami: Boy, you sure aren't enthusiastic today...

Clare: WELL MAYBE CAUSE I DIDN'T GET A VALENTINES DAY PRESENT!

Yami: (Flinches) What do you want me to do!?

Clare: (Raises eyebrow at him)

Yami: (Sighs and goes to buy a present for Clare)

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare skipped through the hallways of her building, on her way to the room where she was keeping everyone locked up. In her hands were a couple of heart-shaped chocolate boxes and in the other hand were some flowers. As she entered the room, she start humming a little tune as all eyes turned to her, she passed everyone a box of chocolates, even Tea, which must have meant that Clare was delirious. When she was happy with everyone staring down at their chocolates with complete and utter surprise, she held five red roses in her hands and grinned.

"Five roses, who shall they go to?" Clare asked rhetorically, smiling cheerfully.

Everyone glanced around at each other, shrugged, and looked back to Clare. The authoress skipped over to Yami and handed him a rose.

_Oh, of course..._they all thought. She proceeded to hand one to Yugi, then to Ryou, then to Joey.

"Whose is that one?" Tristan asked pointedly.

"It's for Seto", she replied, and everyone stared wide-eyed at her.

"What?" Seto asked, looking up from his Mac.

"I got you a rose, Seto!" Clare exclaimed, holding it out to him. Seto eyed the rose suspiciously.

"It's not going to explode in my face, is it?" Seto asked and Clare rolled her eyes.

"Just take the damn rose", she muttered. Seto took the rose and stared at it for a few moments before...

BOOM!

It exploded. Everyone besides Seto began laughing wildly, Seto grunted and turned back to his Mac, typing furiously.

**Oceaus Phoenix**

**Ok, Marik, Malik, Bakura, Seto and Yami, would you like to take over the  
world? if you say no, you will be forced to watch every littlekuriboh copier  
out there. and the worst part is, it has been translated to japanese, then  
german, with english subtitles. Oh, and, joey, why don't you use your key for  
the room with food, and screw your diet, for you are funny!**

Marik, Malik, Bakura, Seto and Yami's eyes widened at this. It was either take over the world or watch a thousand copies of plagiarised footage of themselves being dubbed over.

"We'd rather take over the world!" they all yelled in sync, sending apologetic looks to everyone else.

Joey sighed, "Because Clare got rid of the room with the food. After three or so chapters, it was starting to get mouldy and smelt really bad...", he spoke solemnly.

"Dude! Not my fault! But here, if this helps", Clare said, handing him a double-cappuccino-chocolate-fudge sundae. Joey went all starry-eyed as he ate the delicious dessert.

**barryc10 **

**Hey!**

**Yugi: I'm sorry to put you through that.**

**Kaiba: Burst Stream of Destruction is a Spell Card that can only be used  
when one or more Blue Eyes White Dragons are on the field. The card will  
destroy all of the opponent's monsters that he/she has summoned. however,  
none of the BEWD on the field can attack that turn.**

**Joey: You're welcome. Just so you know, Red Eyes Darkness Dragon gains 300  
extra attack for every dragon in your Graveyard. That means that as soon as  
it's summoned, it'll have at least 2700 atk. Also, Inferno Fire Blast  
requires Red Eyes Black Dragon. It does direct damage equal to Red Eyes's atk  
that turn in exchange for you not being able to attack with him in that battle  
phase.**

**Yami: Even though I'm sure you know about the cards I gave you, I'll explain  
for the others. Dark Magic Attack allows you to destroy every Spell and Trap  
on the opponent's side of the Field if Dark Magician is present on the field.  
And Skill White Magician is essentially like Skilled Dark Magician except  
after three tokens you can bring forth Buster Blader.**

**Tristan: How are you? LOOK! JINZO IS ATTACKING!! (I blow his head up when he  
turns around.) I know, I'm mean.**

**Gotta go.**

Yugi shrugged, smiling sadly at the reviewer.

Kaiba grunted, he was obviously too absorbed in his hacking to notice a reviewer was asking him a question. Clare rolled her eyes, "Kaiba is so rude..."

Joey grinned in delight, "Now maybe I can beat Kaiba in a duel!" he squeaked in an un-Joey –like fashion.

Yami smiled knowingly, "Yep, I'm the only one who _really _understands what the cards are all about", he spoke smugly, earning scowls and glares from every other occupant of the room.

Tristan blinked, turned, screamed and died all in the duration of half a second, but was automatically revived by the Reviver.

**z-nadka-zak**

**...That's what you get for being popular and making a reviewer-dependant fic  
:p**

**I'll just say a few things:**

**Death note *shoves one in the room where Clare can't touch it***

**Oh, and when that's done, have fun *summons a black hole***

**w00t 1/2 term!**

Clare scowled playfully at the reviewer, before realising that he had complemented her and she then grinned, and put on her sweetest voice, "Why, thank you, oh so kind reviewer!"

Everyone raised an eyebrow, wondering what Death Note was and Clare pouted at the reviewer, "You are mean, dude, meeeaaaannnn!"

Everyone screamed at the black hole which appeared, gripping something so they didn't get sucked into it. Yugi noticed that he'd grabbed onto Yami and he turned bright red.

"Half term for the win!" Clare yelled with a grin.

**Neo Flame**

**(Teleports in, Megaman style) Send in the Mudkips! (A bunch of bloodthirsty,  
demonic Mudkips randomly runs into the room and eats Pegasus, Tristan and  
Seto) OWNED! (The Mudkips scatters across the room)**

**Yami Marik: I told you to use it wisely dumbs--t! Now you will get the most  
cruel of all punishments! (Forces him to watch Disaster Movie while playing  
Action 52 for 24 hours)**

**Malik Ishtar: If you had to choose between getting eaten by bloodthirsty  
Mudkips from hell and the same punishment that Yami Marik got, then which one  
would you choose? And no, there is no third option.**

**Tea: (Holds up a device with a button) This thing will protect you from any  
killing that might occur, but there is a price. Your arms and legs will be  
eaten by my army of demonic Mudkips. Say yes and kiss your arms and legs  
goodbye, or risc getting killed, which will most likely happen anyway. (Sees  
the look of horror in her face) Why so serious?**

**Clare: (Hands a flute) If any these nincompoops ever tries something, then  
summon an army of bloodthirsty Mudkips with this flute.**

**Now I will leave. Let's go my minions! (I and the Mudkips walks out)**

Everyone screams and runs, except for Pegasus, Tristan and Seto who get violently chewed to death – but are soon revived by the machine.

"ARGH! IT'S JUST LIKE '28 DAYS LATER'!" Clare screamed in horror, "QUICK, WHO IS IMMUNE TO THEM!?"

No one responded as they continued to run. Yami Marik quickly grabbed the gun he'd been given before, "It's my time to shine!" he screamed dramatically, firing at every Mudkip that came within five miles of him.

Malik's eyes twitched, and he hid under the sofa, and muttered "Uhh, apple?"

Tea screamed repeatedly, flailing her arms and legs, trying to rid the world of Mudkips. "I JUST WANNA GO HOME!" she screamed.

Clare stared at the flute, then to the Mudkips, back to the flute, then the Mudkips. "Hmm", she muttered thoughtfully.

Then, quite suddenly, everything went back to normal as the reviewer left.

**Hauka **

**walks in through portal grabs yami and kiss him deeply. sorry had to do that  
just one i mean he too hot not too.  
oh and seto touch that card and i swear on ra i will hunt you down and send  
you so far in the shadow realm you will never see the light of day again.  
oh claire this is for you its a manchine that lets you creat any kind of  
weapon you want have fun with it oh one last thing i have cast a slince spell  
on lipton she now cant speak for 3 chapters uness she answering qusetions bye  
walks through portal.**

Yami blinked, blushing a little as he was snogged by the reviewer. "Uhhm... T-thank you?"

"Oh man, he lost his confidence again", Clare muttered, slapping her forehead.

Seto raised an eyebrow, "I'd like to see you try", he muttered venomously.

Clare raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Thanks dude!"

"What!?" Tea screamed, she began moving her mouth but words didn't come out.

"Wow, it's suddenly much quieter!" everyone seemed happy.

**YamiYugi223**

**Yugi: *clears the mudkips away* There ya go, Yugi! No more of those Pesky  
Mudkip!**

**Yami: *glomp* What do you think of Dartz? Personally, I REALLY hate Dartz.  
*giggles* I REALLY LIKE you...  
Oh yes...what do you think of Weevil?**

***shudders at the thought of bugs***

**Joey: *hands him cookie***

**Yugi: *gives him candy***

**Bye!**

Yugi fell to his knees, thanking Ra that the horrible Mudkips were gone. "Thank you so much, reviewer!"

"Dartz SUCKS!" Yami yelled, "He stole my abiou's soul! I WOULD KILL DARTZ RIGHT NOW IF HE WAS IN THIS ROOM!" the Pharaoh snapped. And then, on a lighter note, he smiled to the reviewer, "Well thank you, I like you too."

There was a pause.

"WEEVIL SUCKS!" Yami continued on about how that annoying bug-hugger was.

Joey grinned, thanked the reviewer and ate the cookie.

"Thanks for the candy!" Yugi cried and quickly ate the sugary treat.

**HikariTenshiYamiTenshi**

**hm...**

**Seto - Make out with Tea for 1 full minute (I love to sadistically torture  
you.)  
Yami - Take Yugi out for lunch - when was the last time you two went on a  
date?  
Yugi - Thank Yami for a nice date with these...(hand him a pair of titanium  
handcuffs)  
Joey - Here's $500. Pick a restaurant and go nuts.  
Marik - Dance up and down the room singing 'If I were Gay' by Steven Lynch.  
(find that song on youtube, it's hilarious!)  
Ryou - Do absolutely ANYTHING to Bunny-Kun (hehehe thanx for nicknaming  
Bakura, Kia Elric!)!**

"What!?" Seto screamed, and continued to snog Tea against his will.

Yami blushed a little, and shrugged, "I can't remember... never?"

Yugi stared down at the titanium handcuffs, confused for a moment before turning bright red. "AH!" he cried, dropping the handcuffs and hiding behind Clare.

"Clare, help me! They have sick minds!" Yugi cried.

Clare shrugged, "Guess that means everyone has – at least the people who think up awesome little fics with you and Yami doing-" Yugi cut her off.

"CLARE!?" He cried, covering her mouth.

Joey 'whooped' and ran out of the room to the nearest restaurant to buy a LARGE meal.

Against his will, Marik was forced to sing and dance in a very embarrassing manner.

Ryou blushed – Bakura cursed annoyingly at the nickname – the Hikari scratched his head.

"Wha-what kind of things?" he asked innocently.

**BugBite15**

**OMQ, i LUV this!**

**give Yugi-chan a 20-pound bag of pure sugar.  
And Yami should have chocolate cake sice he doesn't like pie.**

**This is great, keep up the awesome work!**

Everyone tried to stop the reviewer, but it was too late, Yugi ate the sugar.

"Not again", Clare muttered as Yugi ran around insanely, apparently no longer aware of his own existence as he began ripping of his clothes and running into everyone. Yami was too busy covering his eyes to notice the chocolate cake appear in front of him.

"Oh gods, this is so out of control..." Clare muttered, slapping her forehead.

* * *

Haha, thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. SO SUE ME!

Disclaimer: Not owning Yu-Gi-Oh. Suck on it. I love Yami. So sue me.

Yami: You like using three-word sentences, don't you?

Clare: SO SUE ME!

Seto: Stop saying that.

Clare: SO SUE ME, GOD-DAMNIT!

Seto: ...Alright.

Clare: (Blinks) ...WAIT!

Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A

Clare sighed as she walked into _The Room Of Doom_ (Trademark).

"What's wrong with you?" Joey asked, catching sight of Clare's frustrated look.

"Oh, nothing. I've just been reading some extremely depressing, angst fanfics where Yugi goes all suicidal after Yami leaves", she spoke casually.

"...", Yugi stared blankly at her.

"Whoops, I've said too much!" Clare quickly covered her mouth, "On with the reviews!"

**Neo Flame **

**(Comes in with a Totodile on my shoulder) Hooray for bringing in random  
Pokemons. Don't worry, this one is not a demonic, bloodthirsty killer. He's  
merely my sidekick. (The Totodile jumps of off my shoulder and starts dancing)  
Uh...I have nothing to say.**

**Seto: Do you liek Mudkipz?**

**Mokuba: (forces truth serum down his throat) What do you think of everyone  
else in this room?**

**Yami Yugi: (Hands over the Oathkeeper Keyblade)**

**Yami Bakura: (Hands over the Oblivion Keyblade)**

**Both of the two mentioned above: (Forces to fight eachother)**

**Tristan: (puts under mind control) Kill yourself.**

**Pegasus: (puts under mind control) Act like a monkey.**

**Joey: (puts under mind control) Attack Seto Kaiba with a chainsaw.**

**Tea: (puts under mind control) Do something useful for once.**

**Yami Marik: I believe this...(takes back the weapon I gave him) belongs to  
me. (Shoots him with the mininuke function, which in turn destroys the entire  
room) Uh oh.**

**(Fixes the room) There, farewell for now. (Teleports away with the Totodile)**

Clare blinked, "Hey, this is not a Pokemon fic!"

Yugi grinned, "It's kinda cute!"

Everyone stared shocked at Yugi, "Even after what happened with the mudkipz, you can still find those things cute!?" Yami asked.

"Well it ain't a mudkip, is it?" Yugi replied.

"Nyeh", Joey muttered.

"I HATE MUDKIPZ!" Seto yelled.

Mokuba chocked for a moment before answering "I am superior to everyone in this room! I SHOULD BE THE MAIN CHARACTER! Not only that but I should also be the King Of Games! AND THE PHARAOH! And the child billionaire in charge of the gaming company! And my name should be a pun of a warm, caffeine-filled drink! And I should be the author! And I should have the fan-girls! And I should have all the great trading cards! And I should be the creator of Duel Monsters! And I should have pointier hair! And I should carry all the millennium items! YOU ALL SUCK!"

Everyone was quiet, glaring at Mokuba.

"I think you've made your point, _Mokie_", Kaiba muttered, also glaring.

Yami stared at the Oath Keeper Keyblade, "Great, not we have Kingdom Hearts references...", he muttered.

Yami Bakura smirked as he tested the Oblivion Keyblade, "Awesome! It's better than the Pharaoh's!"

"NOT FAIR!" Yami yelled, now fighting Bakura with the Keyblades.

Clare blinked, "You didn't need to force them to fight each other..."

Tristan grabs a knife that randomly appeared on the table and slits his wrists, only to be revived by the Reviver machine, "Hey, it didn't work..." he muttered.

Pegasus blinked, "OOH OOH AHH AHH!"

Joey grinned evilly, "No need to put me under mind control!" Gladly grabs the chainsaw and runs after Kaiba, who runs for his life.

Tea nodded dumbly, before killing herself.

"Wow, that was actually useful", Clare remarked.

Everyone is covered in black soot.

Clare started laughing at Yami, who glared at the reviewer, because he hates being covered in soot. Not that everyone else likes it. Except Yami Bakura. Who probably has a fetish for it.

"I DO NOT!" Bakura yelled at Clare.

Clare grinned and shrugged.

**z-nadka-zak **

**Why, thank you, oh so kind authoress!**

**Thanks, dudette, thaanks**

**erm... *turns everyone super saiyan* cant think of anything, i'm too tired.  
Oh, and happy late valentines day.**

Clare grinned.

Everyone turned Super Saiyan, stared at each other, then complimented each other on the spikeness of each others hair.

"Great", Clare muttered, "We're all dumb blondes!"

(A/N: NO OFFENSE TO BLONDES! I DIDN'T START UP THE 'DUMB BLONDE' PHASE!)

Clare sighed, "Eh, sorry I haven't updated since Valentines Day... been kinda busy..."

**YamiYugi223**

**Hi Yami!  
Hey, I know what! Let's both get our revenge on Dartz! I mean, we both hate  
his guts. What do you think?  
Oh...and one more thing... Happy Valentine's day!**

**Yugi: Do you like Pikachu? I understand if you don't!**

Yami blinked, "I know, Dartz is annoying..." he turned to all the author's that write YamiXDartz shipping fics, "I HATE YOU ALL!" then he turned back. "Let's go kill Dartz!"

"Whoa, bit extreme", Clare muttered and Yami shrugged.

"Again, I haven't updated since Valentines... sorry peeps..." , Clare muttered.

Yugi cocked his head confusedly, "What's a Pikachu?"

Clare filled him in, "It's a small yellow electric rat who is the mascot of a popular kids TV show based on the concept of capturing animals and trapping them in balls that go on your belt. Then people force them to knock others out."

Yugi blinked.

**HikariTenshiYamiTenshi**

**HTYT - (to Ryou's question) ANYTHING. Kiss him, slap his ass, bite him, chuck  
a laptop at his head, push him out a window and watch him fall like a lemming  
off a bridge...seriously...ANYTHING. Oh and (giggles) My OCs want their  
handcuffs back, Yugi...**

**I actually have a question for Bunny-Kun. Have you ever watched Shaun Of The  
Dead, then done the thing where he tries to hop over the fences, but ends up  
flat on his ass? I just wondered, because you seem to do a lot of dumb stuff.**

**Seto, again, kiss Tea. this time, though, you have to use tongue.  
Joey (hands him more money) again, eat what you will.**

**(chucks popcorn around like confetti) POPCORN FOR ALL!**

Ryou blushed at the suggestions, "I think I'll just throw a pie in his face."

"YOU DARE AND YOU'RE DEAD!"

Ryou whimpered and backed away from his Yami.

Yugi blushed, "But I'm not finished with them- I MEAN!!!!!!! I LOST THEM!"

Everyone stared, jaws low and Yugi.

Yami Bakura stared blankly at the reviewer, "No...", his voice was dangerously low.

Seto, against his will, snogged Tea, WITH TONGUES.

(Only minutes later did Seto kill himself)

Clare sighed as he was revived, "He's never gonna get over that now..."

Joey made a 'woot' sound then ran off to buy all the junk food in the world.

Everyone feasted on some yummy popcorn.

**Captain Luffy**

**Hello, Clare. I'm a big fan of your dbz Q&A.**

**Yami bakura: My favorite character from Yugioh! Why does it take you almost  
200 episodes to become important to the plot?! You should have more screen  
time!**

**Kaiba: My second favorite character! Anyway, do you believe in the magic of  
the millenium items?**

**Pegasus: I hate you! (Traps in cage with rabid cats)**

**Joey: Surprisingly, you aren't a bad character.**

**Tea: Your friendship speaches suck! (Throws multiple knives at her)**

**Clare: Please update soon! See ya!**

Clare smiled happily, "Thankies!"

Yami Bakura smirked, "Naturally I'm your favourite character. Blame the writing staff for the fact that it takes a large duration of time for my plan to follow through. I don't write it, I just act. And believe me, I called my agent about the 'screen time' fiasco, I even threatened to send them to the shadow realm. It turned out that in the Japanese I had just as much screen time as Yugi but the fact that I killed everyone, and swore a lot... IT WAS BLOODY 4KIDS' FAULT!"

Kaiba stared sceptically at the reviewer, "Hell no."

Pegasus screamed as he was eaten alive by rabid cats...that had RABIES!

Joey blinked, "Should I take that as a compliment?"

Tea was impaled by a number of knives. Everyone cheered.

**Artemis**

**Seto: Why don't anyone like you? I don't get it. I do, why don't no one else?  
Oh and can you be my new best friend?**

**Yami: Your hair is so ludicrous. I can see why Seto hates losing to you so  
much. And how dous he lose anyway? You're an amatuar compeared to him,  
honestly, you cheat don't you? Admit it you do!**

**Tea: Kills you with a Neutrino 30.**

**Mokuba: I drew a really good picture of you last year, you know you're pretty  
easy to draw.**

**Joey: Ya know, mutt you're pretty damn cute. I don't get that. But at least I  
don't have a brain the size of a pea, mutt.**

**Yugi: Get's rid of all the suger in the world so that you can never have  
suger again. Mwahahaha! Oh and you are actually a better duelist that Atem.**

Seto grunted, ignoring the question, "No, I'm fine enough without friends", he sneered.

"THAT'S NASTY, SETO! BE NICE!" Clare yelled.

"What' do you except of me?" Seto asked.

"Ah..." Clare replied.

Yami frowned, "My hair is awesome, thank you very much!"

Clare grinned and latched on to Yami's arm, "His hair is so ludicrously awesome!"

"Seto deserved to lose, he sucks. He doesn't believe in the Heart Of The Cards and I have better cards. Suck on it", Yami muttered hotly, crossing his arms, Clare still clinging to him.

Tea dies.

"WOOT!" Everyone cheered, before she was revived again...

Mokuba smiled, "Wow, someone drew me! I'm not completely useless!"

"No, but you're kinda spoilt", Clare muttered.

"HUH!?" Mokuba yelled.

"She's kinda right", Seto agreed.

"DOUBLE HUH!?"

Joey blushed, before hearing the rest and taking offense, "You're so mean!" he yelled.

"Nice comeback", Clare muttered.

Yugi sniffled, before bursting into tears. "Oh noes! MY POOR SUGAR!" he yelled over dramatically.

Clare sighed and threw a bucket of sugar over his head to shut him up, "It's a good thing I keep that extra supply which nothing can happen too!" She eyed the reviewer.

Yugi shook as he went into hyper mode. "THANK YOU CLARE!" he yelled, clinging to her.

"Eep!" Clare squeaked, staring down at him

* * *

A/N: (Is crying) I'm sorry it wasn't longer and that I didn't have all the reviews but my stomach is disagreeing with me! I don't feel well! My tummy is really hurting so I did a quick one! I PROMISE I'll have your reviews in the next chapter! (Pouting as my tummy is hurting) Owie, owie, owie!

Yami: (Hugs Clare better)


	8. And Now

Disclaimer: Clare the idiot does not own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Clare: Thank you Disclaim- WHAT!? I'M NOT AN IDIOT!

Disclaimer: ... (Runs)

Clare: (Growls) I'll get him later...

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare stepped into the room of doom and stared at all the bored looks on everyone's faces.

"Uh... Hi?" she spoke hesitantly, waving lightly.

Yugi got up and crossed his arms, the all-famous Hikari pout on his face. "You left us alone in here for like, a whole three months without anything to do!" he complained.

Clare blinked, shifting her weight from foot to foot, before saying, "Yeah, I guess... oh well!"

Everyone in the room sighed and prepared for ominous torture.

**Oceaus Phoenix**

**Alrighty, so, how about...  
Ok, Everyone must say which Super Smash Bros Brawl Character they and the  
person closest to them would be. And Clare, didn't we do just AWESOME with  
calling for my Valentine? Why don't you tell them about it?  
Haven't heard of Super smash bros brawl? Here you go! (Gives Mokuba game of  
super smash bros brawl, and gives wii file all character's unlocked) Have fun  
solving argument!**

Everyone stared blankly at Oceaus.

"Um... I don't think they've ever heard of Super Smash Bros Brawl..." Clare spoke.

"What's that? Some sort of crack?" Marik asked randomly, earning several strange looks from people in the room.

Clare grinned at Oceaus, "Hellz yeah! Our 'Calling For My Valentine' fic was super-special-awesome!"

Yugi pouted, "You stole my abridged-clones catch phrase!"

Mokuba smiled and took the game, "Gee, thanks!" he yelled happily, then ran over to the Wii and started playing the game relentlessly.

**Raditz's son**

**(Disturb's Inside the Fire plays and i teleport in followed by a trail of  
fire. Black t-shirt, cargo pants, and boots)**

**Hey there Clare even hidden in another anime won't save you!**

**Yami- Tell me, why pick this little weakling as your host? (Points to Yugi)**

**Joey- You have a brooklyn accent.. and your japanese... wtf**

**Ryou- Your phycotic aren't you, I believe we'll get along.**

**Kaiba- You know one would think with all your money, you'd just buy the best  
cards and beat yugi and end the bloody series in 1 season...**

**Pegasus- You wanted to return your wife to life... with a card game? Can you  
say crazy?**

**Tea- Admit it, you want Yami, you weird friendship loving nutjob**

To the rest- (takes out bow) Lets see cards vs arrows... Die! (kills) Hahaha!

Everyone stared in awe at the new reviewer. Yes, right now, the look on everyone's faces could be considered as "WTF?"

Clare blushed and grinned, "You know me! Always sneaking around different dimensions!"

Everyone glanced confusedly at Clare, who shrugged innocently.

Yami growled, "He's not a weakling! He's one of the strongest people I know!"

"Uh, Yami, I think he meant muscle-wise", Marik pointed out.

"Oh... in that case, I don't know..." Yami muttered.

"Yami!" Yugi pouted.

Joey held his hands up in defence, "Oh come on! It's not my fault! The writing staffs were on crack when they picked my voice actor!"

Ryou raised an eyebrow and blinked, "You got the wrong guy, you're looking for my Yami", he pointed over at Bakura who was gnawing at his own flesh for some unknown reason.

Seto rolled his eyes, "You obviously have learnt nothing from the series. The whole fact that I was beaten by that pip-squeak in season 1 was because 4Kids were trying to get it into your damn heads that no matter how strong your cards are, it's the person who's duelling with them that counts", he muttered in annoyance.

Pegasus growled, "Shut up you twerp! Children these days have no respect for their superiors."

Tea rolled her eyes, "Like it wasn't made clear in the first few episodes that I was attracted to Yugi's sexy alter ego. Damn, you're slow."

Yami instantly looked deadly depressed, "Maybe I should just commit suicide now..."

Everyone who wasn't spoken to were shot down with arrows... but then revived by the Reviver machine, leaving the reviewers' attempt utterly ineffectual.

**z-nadka-zak**

**o.O I'm stomach's also being a bitch.**

**DAMNIT YOU WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO FIGHT!**

**If you wanted someone to sue you so bad...**

**Yami: *throws bucket of water on his head***

**Yugi: *throws pizza on face***

**Joey: GARLIK GUN! *shoots a ton of garlic from forehead***

**Yami Bakura: *throws in room with screaming rabid fan...BOYS!***

**Ryou Bakura: *dies hair black* EHMOH FAYS**

**Malik Ishtar: ...I'd rather not tell you *reference to chapter 5 ftw***

**Yami Marik: KABOOM!**

**Tristan: *turns into a pie***

**Tea: *throws Tristan pie on face* ...Does this mean Tristan and Tea are  
kissing LOL**

**Seto Kaiba: *throws laptop at head***

**Mokuba: *throws PS3 at head***

**Pegasus: *throws ice down back***

**Ima go lye down nao**

Yami growled in annoyance as the bucket of water was thrown over him, soaking his hair, causing it to droop slightly.

Yugi quickly removed the pizza from his face, glaring at the reviewer, "That's no very nice!"

Joey screamed as the garlic consumed him, Clare grinned, "I like garlic", she said.

Bakura quickly pulled out a sword, "GET BACK YOU RABID FANBOYS OR I'LLS STAB YOU ALL!"

A random fan boy yelled, "Stab me with your long, impressive sword, oh mighty king of thieves!"

Bakura made a look of discuss, before screaming as the fan boys began molesting him.

Ryou frowned, "I liked my hair the way it was! AND I AM NOT AN EMO!"

Malik shrugged, "It doesn't matter, I can't remember what you were talking about now, anyway..."

Marik blinked and stared at the insanity of the reviewer, "You are scary."

Tristan the pie was launched at Tea, and everyone gave a collective 'ew' as they caught the reviewers comment.

Seto growled and caught his laptop before it hit his head, "You immature little idiot!"

Mokuba cried as the heavy object hit him square in the forehead.

Pegasus squeaked and ran around in circles at the ice that went down his back.

**HikariTenshiYamiTenshi**

**hehehehehe hi Bunny kun! it's me again!  
I have a question for Yami/Atem now. Can you get both your legs behind your  
head?  
I can't and I want to see if you can.**

**Tea - Give Seto the kiss of dea-Life.  
Mokuba - take your pick of the others and chuck this at them (hands him a  
bucket of paint filled water balloons)  
Yugi - You...find my oc's handcuffs!...what have you been doing with them?  
Yami - Does the handcuffs going 'missing' have anything to do with you?!  
Seto, I apologize, but I'm in a phase where you are the one I love to  
torture. but as an apology, (passes him a loaded paintball gun) shoot me with  
this...**

Yami Bakura gave a growl of annoyance at the nickname and rolled his eyes.

Yami stared wide-eyed at the reviewer, "Look, that won't work, this trick has been played on me before! You just want me to do that so you can kick me in the-" Yami was cut off as Yugi clamped a hand over his mouth.

"No, Yami! It's a Yoga position!"

"Yoga? What's that taste like?"

Everyone fell down anime style, of course, Yami just stared blankly – it wasn't his fault he was from Egypt and didn't know what Yoga was...

Tea raised an eyebrow at the reviewer, "Uh, no. Make me!"

Mokuba went starry eyed and grabbed the bucket, "Thanks!" he cried, before throwing them at Tea. "F*CK YOU, TEA!"

Yugi blushed bright red, "Uh... UH... n-nothing! I...I don't know where they disappeared to!"

Yami blinked and cocked his head, "But Yugi, I thought you were hiding them so you could use them later on me-" Yami was cut off once again as Yugi tackled him to the ground, covering his mouth.

"YAMI!" Yugi cried, bright red.

Yami turned to the reviewer and tried to explain but Yugi's hand over his mouth only made it sound all muffled.

Seto stared down at the paintball gun and then put it down on the desk, "As much as I want to kill you right now, I wouldn't shoot paintballs at a woman, it's not very respectful", he spoke regally.

Clare raised an eyebrow, "Dude, you tried to strangle me if I didn't let you go earlier..."

Seto glared at Clare, "I said to woman, you're just an immature girl", he muttered.

Clare glared back at him and then, within seconds, grabbed the paintball gun and aimed it at him.

"Say your prayers, Kaiba."

BANG. SPLAT. POW.

**A/N: I apologise if your review is not up here, I've lost a few in the months I've been gone and I promise I'll put your reviews in the next chapter! Thank you!**


	9. Sedatives!

**Clare-Stovold: I'm starting to update more regularly guys, I'm sorry for my absence, but I'm back! By the way, anyone interested in Puzzleshipping? If so then please visit my profile and read the one-shot YamiXYugi stories!**

**Yami: (Reads the reviews and blushes) Claarreee...**

**Clare: What? (See's reviews) Wow... (Grins evilly)**

**Disclaimer: Screw you 4Kids, I so totally own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

**4Kids's Lawyer: (Walks in)**

**Disclaimer: (Sighs) Uh... not really... I don't own... (Cries silently)**

**Clare's Yu-Gi-Oh Q&A**

Clare skipped happily into the room where she held all her cute bishies captive...... and Tea.

"Hi everyone!" Clare chirped with a grin.

"Hello..." came the collective, depressed sigh from the characters. Clare glared at them, "Lighten up, damn it."

**.Sin**

**Clare: I praise you. Literally (Bows down before Clare) Oh, Mighty Authoress  
of Awesomeness!**

**Yami: (Runs up to him, grabs him tightly and kisses him passionately, before  
running away, giggling hysterically)**

**Yugi: Sorry about that, I know Yami belongs to you... but can you blame me?  
He's just too damn sexy...**

**Joey: BROOKLYN RAGE!**

**Yami Bakura: (Hands him a drink of awesome-soda) Here, drink this, it will  
give you super strength and ultra-awesome-powers then you'll be able to take  
over the world without having to deal with Zorc. (What he doesn't know is,  
that the drink is actually spiked with 50 sleeping pills)**

**Ryou Bakura: Don't you think Yami Bakura is kinda peaceful when he's asleep?  
And cute too? (Hugs the sleeping bishies head) AWW!**

**Malik: Why do you act really camp? I mean, seriously... I'm going to call you  
twinkle-toes from now on.**

**Yami Marik: I don't like you.**

**Tristan: Your hair looks like an isosceles triangle...**

**Tea: Hi, warm drink.**

**Seto: (Jumps on his back and hugs him) I like you!**

**Mokuba: (Huggles) I like you too! Here's some candy!**

**Yugi again: Oh, I forgot earlier, here's some sugar! (Gives bag of sugar)**

**Pegasus: Hi... horse with wings...**

**BYE! ^_^**

Clare grinned, "Why, thank you Lyra!" Clare smirked cockily, "I am pretty awesome, aren't I?"

"Cough-No-Cough", Kaiba muttered.

"SHU'UP KAIBA!"

Yami's eyes widened as he was forced into a heated kiss by someone he didn't even know. Everyone else stared in awe, except for Yugi, who stared in rage.

"Get away from my Yami, BITCH!" Yugi screamed, holding a wooden chair in the air threateningly.

Everyone gasped at Yugi's choice of words before Clare shot the little Hikari with a sedative dart and Yugi fell asleep, snoring cutely.

Joey glared at the reviewer, "MY catchphrase, MINE!"

Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow, "Uh, thanks I guess?" He took a sip and seconds later, dropped to the floor unconscious.

Clare sighed, "Great, now we have two characters unconscious from sedatives. This chapter is turning out weird..."

Ryou raised an eyebrow, "I think Bakura's still evil. Even if he does look kinda cute when he's sleeping..."

"I'M NOT F(BLEEP)ING GAY! AND DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!" Malik screamed, gasping for breath.

Yami Marik stared blankly at the reviewer. "The feeling is mutual..."

"Hey, my mummy styled it like this!" Tristan cried, completely offended.

Tea growled, "Stop making fun of my name, idiot."

Seto grunted as the reviewer jumped on him and he staggered a little, before glaring over his shoulder, "Yeah? Well I DON'T like you."

Mokuba grinned and ate the candy, "Thank you!"

Clare laughed nervously, "Yugi's kind of unconscious right now... so I'll just take this and hide it where he can never ever find it." Clare rushed around and hid the bag of sugar behind Tea. "Yep, he'll never look there even if his life depended on it."

Pegasus growled, "So what, my name means a horse with wings. At least it's a graceful creature like me!"

A snickering was heard throughout the room.

"You're all mean", Pegasus yelled.

Clare woke the unconscious characters up so that they could answer the next set of questions.

**HikariTenshiYamiTenshi**

***blinks* WOW. *looks to Yugi*  
Yugi- *sigh* if I let you keep those handcuffs, you have to get me a  
milkshake. Chocolate. With a green straw. And please don't slap me for the  
advice I'm about to give to Yami.  
Yami- I promise, I won't kick you in the nuts. Unless absolutely necessary.  
By the way, if Yugi keeps putting his hands over your mouth, just lick them or  
bite him...I swear on my life that wasn't meant to sound kinky...anyway he'll  
let go and you can continue your sentence. Hope that helps.  
Kaiba- Alright, you say you won't shoot paintballs at a woman. *hands him a  
little plastic gun with a cork in the end* what about this? My question  
actually goes out to you, Seto. If you met a truly horrible Mary Sue, who kept  
trying to get yours, Yami's and Bakura's attention away from your  
crush/boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do about it? Would you valiantly  
help your rivals, or would you leave them in battle to fend off the girl  
themselves?  
Tea- A little question to you as well. What do you do to people who  
permanently bash you?**

**A little gift for torturing you all. I bring you muffins! And fresh,  
homebaked cookies!  
*Smile***

Yugi blushed and nodded, "I suppose it's only fair..." Yugi ran toward the place where Clare kept the chocolate milkshakes with green straws ( O.O ) and prepared one before running back over to the review. "Here you go!" he grinned happily.

Yami raised an eyebrow, "Are you absolutely sure about that? I don't trust you reviewers, you make me feel all on-edge" he murmured. Yami proceeded to try and fit into the said position but failed and he looked up with a pout. "Hey, I can't exactly to that thing whilst wearing leather, it's too stiff", he muttered.

"Are you sure that's not just your-" Clare began, and was cut off by Yugi, who clamped his hand over her mouth. Clare rolled her eyes and bit his thumb. Yugi whimpered whilst blowing on his sore thumb.

"-As I was saying, are you sure it's not just your... body? I mean, is your metabolism high enough? Have you been getting enough exercise? You need to take these things into account, Yami."

Yugi blinked, "Oh, I thought you were gonna say-" he began, but Clare cut him off by clamping her hand over his mouth.

"Whoa Yugi, we don't want this fic turning M rated now, do we?"

Seto raised his eyebrows at the 'cork-gun' in his hands. "No offense, but holding this makes me look stupid. So no", he threw the gun at the wall and it broke. "And to answer your second question: Of course I'd leave those two idiots to fend for themselves, watching them squirm is funny."

Clare blinked and held up a finger as if to point something out, "Notice she didn't say 'Marik', only Yami and Bakura", she grinned. "Marik's not hot enough to be chased by fan-girl Mary Sue's."

"Thank god... HEY!" Marik yelled, glaring at Clare.

Tea shrugged, "I don't let it get to me, you know-" she was interrupted by everyone else.

"Shut up you son of a banshee", everyone said in perfect sync.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

**0-Tamari-0**

***appears in puff of smoke*  
Hi! I have come to put the energy that eating half a box of cookies can give  
you to good use!**

**Ryou-*restores hair to it's original colour* YAY! Ryou you are so adorable  
and I love you *hugs, but not in the scary assault kinda way* Oh yeah, and  
here *gives plate of cream puffs***

**Bakura-SQUEE! BAKURA I LOVE YOU TOO! *hugs in scary assault kinda way* Please  
Clare-sama, let me erm...'borrow' him until the next update, please? He can  
stay until the end of this one *chibi eyes***

**Tea-Die friendship-bitch T.T *shoots***

**Tristan-*gives watermelon***

**Yami Marik-I HATE YOU FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON! *also shoots***

**Joey-I baked you a cake~! *hands cake***

**Tea-Just because Clare proably revived you...*shoots again***

**...**

**Tea-*shoots again***

**Kay I'm done! ^-^ And I shall be back for Bakura-sama at the end of this kay~**

Ryou smiled brightly, "Finally! A nice reviewer! Thank you very much!" he blushed when he was hugged and happily took the cream puffs.

Bakura's eyes widened and Clare grinned evilly, "Well, I guess you can take him at the end of the chapter, he'd be taking up unnecessary space if he were here over the next update. And besides, he annoys me sometimes."

Bakura growled at Clare, "Clare, you annoy me just as much. Brat", he muttered.

Tea died and everyone was happy, but then they sighed when the Revival machine, well, revived her.

Tristan stared at the watermelon in his hand. "How am I gonna eat this without and cutlery?"

"Use your hair, it's spiky enough", Clare suggested with a snicker.

Yami Marik also died but was revived; "Well that's not very nice..." he muttered and glared at the reviewer.

Joey's eyes lit up as bright as the starry sky. "A-a cake... for ME!?" He gulped the cake down and grinned at the reviewer, "Thank you very much!!!"

Tea died because Clare did revive her.

Then she died again after being revived again.

...

"Okay, Tea you can come out from hiding now, the reviewer's gone." Clare muttered.

Tea peeped out from her hiding place behind Pegasus and thanked the gods of the revival machine.

**Nibi-Nekomata**

**-hugs both Bakura's and growls at other girls (and... boys *sweatdrop*)-  
MINE!  
-shifty eyes while backing away quickly-  
Anyway, now that that's out of my system...  
Tea, I have nothing against you, so, here's a cookie.  
I have nothing against most of you actually... Oh well! Torment I must...  
But, before that...  
Bunny-kun (giggle-snort) & Ryou- We reviewers are evil aren't we? I is  
sorry... sort of. If either of you need protection from the other reviewers,  
here's my number. Ask for Nibi or Emillia.  
Mokuba- -glomps- Luff you!! Not as much as Bakura and Ryou though, but you're  
luffed none the less. I'm actually closer to your age then theirs... Anyway,  
my therapist will be along later.  
Clare- You are insane. I'm sure we'll get along just fine!  
Everyone else- Here, a free "Don't Get Killed" card...  
-puts wild and rabid wolf pack in and throws Pegasus in with them; hands out  
presents-  
Off I go!!**

Yami Bakura rolled his eyes and Ryou blushed, "Wow, I feel loved..."

Tea widened her eyes and smiled at the reviewer, "Thank you!" But just as she was about to put the cookie in her mouth, Clare used her super-goddess-powers-which-only-author's-and-authoresses-can-have to make the cookie explode in her mouth.

And it did. And Tea screamed in pain. It was really funny. You should have been there.

Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow, "I don't need protection from the other reviewers, I'm fine by myself!" Ryou smiled nervously, "Uh, thanks, I guess!"

Mokuba raised an eyebrow, "Closer to my age huh?" And just then, Mokuba went completely out of character and said in a low voice, "So, baby, you doing anything later?"

Everyone stared at Mokuba with wide-eyes.

Clare nodded, "Yup, that's me. They say one in three friends is insane. So if you notice that your two best friends are normal, then you're the insane one!"

Everyone else takes their 'Don't Get Killed' Card. Pegasus gets thrown to the rabid wolves, but holds up his card, "I HAVE A 'DON'T GET KILLED' CARD!"

Clare grabbed the card and swiped it through a random machine she pulled out of nowhere. "Sorry, not valid anymore."

"WHA-" And just like that, he got eaten to death... does that make sense?

**Azriena Lestrange**

**Steps out of the portal.**

**Yami and Yugi - blows kisses. And I'm not finished with you two. Yami, I  
brought you someone - Mana jumps in and does the "flying-leap-tackle-hug"  
attack on Pharaoh - Have fun you two!  
And Yugi, I brought you something much better and stronger than sugar. Here,  
a box of dark chocolate with 70% of cocoa.**

**Ryou - Sorry, I couldn't bring more than one dead person and I know how much  
would you like to see Amane again, so I'll do it as painless as possible -  
shoots him in the head with a gun.**

**Clare - Let him be dead for at least an hour. I'm sure he and Amane have a  
lot to say to each other.**

**Seto - Admit that the only reason you refuse to believe in magic is because  
it can't be explained by any laws of science!**

**Mokuba - Gives him Silent Hill: Homecoming - Have fun!**

**Pegasus - Makes him make out with Lipton for two hours.**

**Malik - Will you give me a ride with your motorbike?**

**Joey - You ate too much and you got fat. I forbid you to eat anything else  
than carrots for the next 7 days!**

**Tristan - God I don't know what to do with you! Go make out with Lipton after  
Pegasus finishes!**

**Yami Marik - Sends him to a psychiatrist.**

**Yami Bakura - Bunny-kun!**

**Okay, that's all from me. Ciao!**

Yami screamed in horror as he tried to get away from the crazy little magician, and failed terribly. "HI, PHARAOH!" Mana screamed, glomping Yami.

"Get her off me!" Yami pleaded.

"CAN WE GO HORSE RIDING DOWN NEAR THE NILE AGAIN, PWEASE!?" The hyperactive magician cried.

Yami fell to the ground, whimpering, "Where Mahado when you need him...?"

Yugi's eyes lit up like stars and he took a bite of the chocolate. "SUPER-SPECIAL-AWESOME!" he yelled happily, running around in circles.

Ryou blinked, "But, wha-" he was cut off as he got shot dead... then revived.

Clare shook her head, "I'm so sorry, but no can do, there's other reviewers waiting", she grinned and patted Ryou on the head.

Seto stared blankly, "No, I don't believe in magic because it CAN be explained by science. And plus, Yugi hasn't got an alter ego, he's just a schizophrenic...", he muttered.

"But Yami's standing right there... being glomped by Mana", Clare explained.

"That's just Yugi's long lost brother, I'm not that stupid."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Mokuba raised an eyebrow, "Huh?"

Against his will, Pegasus made out with Tea for two hours, and then washed his mouth out rapidly for six hours... who wouldn't?

Malik shook his head, "No, it's MY motorbike! And I can only go on it because it has MY background music, _'More Than A Feeling'_ which is a mega-rocking awesome song, by the way!"

"Uh-oh, another LittleKuriboh reference!" Clare sighed, and facepalmed.

Joey sniffled then burst out into tears, "NOOOOO! WHY ME!?"

Tristan's eyes widened, "I'd rather kill myself!" and then he does so. Before being revived, again.

Yami Marik growled angrily, "I DON'T NEED TO SEE A PHYCHIATRIST!" Then he sent them to the shadow realm.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, DAMNIT!" Bunny-Kun, I MEAN... Bakura, yelled.

**A/N: Phew! (Wipes forehead) Thank god that's finished! (Grins) Yay, I managed to finished this time! Hope you all enjoyed!**


End file.
